Sunday, October 13, 2013

For the first time in a very long time, Musyoka Ngui documents exclusive tricks, intrigues and games that define Kenya’s secondary education system. He goes back in time to reveal what national examiners failed to do and up to now do not seem to decipher why they are always beaten by the clever and may be academically stupid students. Can’t old dogs learn new tricks? Are the dynamics too fast to catch up with?
Sit pretty and enjoy this nail-biting show.
Script By: Musyoka Ngui
Executive Producer: Robert Onyango
Director: Martin Wangari
Executive Director: Frankline Momanyi Nyaboga
Floor Manager: Robert Onyango
Make Up: Nelson Wagita
GAMES STUDENTS PLAY
Scene 1
(A Hi School. The curtain opens with forth form learners who are waiting for their graduating exam. Day Zero is sitting rehearsal day. The supervisor and the invigilators are in the house. The principal is making sure that everything runs smoothly. The students are being taken through exam administration rules.)
Principal: Good morning dear candidates!
Students: Good morning sir!
Principal: It is my pleasure to invite the supervisor to address you.  But before him, let me make my brief remarks. I expect you to concentrate and be keen on the presentation so that you do not blame yourself tomorrow at the KZSE. No cheating. If you are caught you will be on your own. KNYC examiners will be vigilant as police detectives. They are watching every move you make. Any wrong move will cost you your arm and leg. Be warned! With those brief remarks, let me welcome Mr. Sungura and his team to address the Class of 2013. Thanks! (The audience claps and welcomes the new speaker)
Mr. Sungura:  Thank you Mwalimu. Students, we are honored to serve you today. We are not here to intimidate you. Neither are we here to harden your life. As long as you do the right, you will be on the safe side. (He takes them through the examination rules and regulations. Soon the session is over and all dismiss)
Scene 2
(Students react)
Jim: Aaah! Maze hiki kisupervisor kinatukazia sana. Yaani wasee wakae one meter apart north, east, west and south?  
Carol: Ati hawatuoni poa. Nani amesema si hucopy teo? I hate them all. F**k them. F**k U!
Larry: Talking of f***king jueni teo imetungoja tangu kidato moja. Imebao na tukirelax itatuf***k!
Tina: Jim si ukona mpango ya power. Toa mpango. (Psyches up to release tension of exam phobia)
Jim: Tulieni! Hush! Shhhh! (Removes his mwakx) Unaona hii mwakx? Nitaisunda kwa ngotha na niifunge na blanda. Watatufrisk but hawataiona. Tukishaingia, afta exam ianze nidai naendesha, nifike toile niichomoe pap! Nicopypaste na nitokezee. Nini ingine? Si stori itakuwa imedie?
All: Hakuna!  Ishakuwa. (Hi five and cheers)
Carol: Me msinione ivo. My body is my business and invigilators should MTOB. Yaani they Mind Their Own Business. I will not allow male invigilators to touch me inappropriately or suggestively.
Larry: What do you mean? Ngoso nayo!
Carol: Nimejitatoo boobs, thighs and upper arms. Nikishaketi hapo kwa kona side ya mlango near the diro, ni kuunbuttonna kulift tu. Ata du?
Tina: What if he comes and orders u 2 undress your hidden parts ili aone hiyo umeandika?
Carol: Then I will scream bloody rape! Help! Help! Help! Am being raped!
Tina: Na CCTV cameras zenye waliinstall juzi?
Jim: Kwani uko nyuma aje kama by election ya 2013? Hizo tushazivandalize kitambo na tuna deal ya kuzikinda tao kwa broker fulani Down Town.
Tina: Mind you tushascrub lockers na exam room was recently repainted and refurbished. Will you get anywhere to write? Nitawasema kwanza.
Jim and Carol: Jaribu kuwa nice gal. Utajipendekeza kwa KNYC but tukiachwa na wewe tutakuchinja. We will brand you with a hot iron rod like a cow. Zile glass tulivunja juzi tym ya strike zitatumiwa kukutorture. Mwakenya suspects za 80’s zilipelekwa Nyayo House but za siku hizi ndizo zitapeleka informers kwa kichinjio. Risk at your own peril.
Scene 3
(Actual exam day. No much activity as it is hard to copy Math Paper 1 and 2. Students behave well and invigilators have started patting them in the back)
Scene 4
(All ringleaders present. The rest of the class is oblivious of what the top schemers are up to. Each has a surprise card they would pull at the opportune time. It is History Paper 1; pure theory and memory.)
Invigilator 1(Male): I will frisk the boys and you screen the girls.
Invigilator 2(Female): Why don’t you do the girls and I do the boys? Gender equality style.
Invigilator 1: No. They may refuse and protest the more. You just frisk the girls and I do the boys.
Invigilator 2: Sawa. Let’s get started. In case of anything I shall call you. (All the students line up for the frisking at the door. They are ordered to remove their shoes, wallets, bets and ties.)
Jim: This is unfair! Wasee eeh! Wasee aahh!  Sis wanoma sana. No inspection! After all kwani kuna evidence ya stealing hapa? Wamepata nani so far? Si mao na ngoso tulidu vipoa?
Larry, Carol and Tina: Power! Power! Hapo umeongea kama wasee kumi.
Jim: Ata si kumi ni mia. Makofi kwangu. (Laughs)
(None of the candidates is nabbed at the door with irregularities. Exam papers are distributed and soon the exam kicks off)
Scene 5
(Most of the candidates are immersed in exam. The invigilators are looking right, left and center. Others are peeping through the cracks and windows from the outside)
Tina: Shhh! Nitakusema hebu acha kucopy apo. What were you doing all those four years?
Jim: Jinga. Si useme unadhani utaongezewa marks? Nkt! Mschew! *@#$%&
Larry: Manze chunga invigilators ziko randa. Pia makarao apo nje wako ngori. Zuia noma. Pole pole.
(Invigilator 1 flies and lands on Jim’s desk. Begs him to surrender the paper he is copying from)
Jim: (Swallows the paper. The paper is stuck in his throat): Zi! Achana na mimi. Umeniona? (He coughs as tears roll down his cheeks as he tries to swallow the stuck bolus of paper)
Carol: (Hits Jim hard on the back. The bolus of mwakx flies from Jim’s mouth to the floor, full of saliva and thoroughly wet. Jim realizes that the paper may nail him for cheating in the exam and rushes to the ground and swallows it again. All are stunned. The police rushes to the scene with guns and fires in the air. Confusion ensues. Soon the situation returns to normal)
Carol: (unbuttons her blouse to get sneak peak of the literature she has tattooed he boobs with. She fishes out a leaf from her bra and copies. Eats it up. The tattooed answers seem to tally with what is in the question paper.)
Carol’s thoughts: “I told you so. Si ni wazi? Hiyo lika imegonga ndipo ka msumari. Hiyo histo ni A. A+ nikainguka sana ama waundermark. I know Larry wherever you are you are smiling. Si utaningawia ile loot tulicollect kwa maforth ili tuwaletee leakage? Sawa mzeiya?! LOL!”
Invigilator 2: (Pointing at Carol) Mr. Supervisor, that girl is nodding alone. Kwani anaongea na shetani?
Supervisor: Since I am male I cannot touch her. Even African taboos don’t allow fathers to go to their daughter’s bedrooms. They may find them naked. You just ask her.
Invigilator 2: No! You are the supervisor. Remember you are fully in charge.
Supervisor: Ok. Let me do it. (He goes and threatens to order Carol to undress her top and her micro skirt – where the rest of the literature is embedded.)
Carol: Wooiii! Woooiii! Wooooiiii! Help me mom! Police! Naomba serikali iingilie. This is a gross violation of fundamental human right of privacy. UN mko? How can you allow me to be raped in the broad daylight? Shame! (All the candidates stand up and protest throwing chairs and exam materials. They start shouting Haki Yetu and carry Carol shoulder high outside to “rescue” her. Exam stops dramatically.)
Principal: (Calling the DEO): Bwana Mkubwa!, Come! Emergency!
To be continued
Curtain
Disclaimer: This script does not in any way endorse any exam malpractice. In fact it just highlights the ways in which candidates steal their way to success hoping that the relevant stakeholders will contain the malpractice and restore honor and credibility in our national examinations.
To the candidates of Class of 2013:  Chuka University Theatre and Arts Club wishes you success and Good Luck in your tests. Cheers!


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Forgiveness is not forgetting

Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is remembering writes Musyoka Ngui
“Forgiveness is not forgetting; it is actually remembering-remembering and not using your right to hit back. It is a second chance for a new beginning. And remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you do not want to repeat what happened. ”- Archbishop Desmond Tutu-  Nobel Laureate and former South African Truth and Reconciliation Chair.
We have all had relationships. Good and bad relationships. Any relationship whether business or romantic involves two or more parties. These parties often have conflicts. It is how we manage such conflicts that determine the destiny of our relationships for better or for worse.
When we were kids we would fight. Sibling rivalry was rife.  We would pick up a fight from toys, sweets, and clay when constructing model houses as kids. Our work would stall and get physical. Only after our parents noticing one with red eyes or limping limb would we explain what went wrong.
We would start: Ni yeye! (It is him). No it is him. This would put our mom in a dilemma when determining who was speaking the truth and who was lying. She would cane both of us the aggressor and the offended. That was democracy of then. Mom did not want to show that she was lenient to one son. Both children were economical with truth. None came clean.
In the end, she would retort: Mwambie pole(say sorry). And you! Us kids forgot the lesson quickly no wonder the process repeated as soon as the conflict was resolved.
Now come to think of grown folks –people with brains, understanding, knowledge and wisdom yet they still do their affairs as kids. They forget fast. They blame one another and yet still do their things as toddlers who need a big brother to ensure fair play. No matter the level of the conflict, sobriety is needed. Being able to put yourself in the shoes of the offended party and accepting that you are wrong. Neither I nor my brother acknowledged that we made mistakes. We were chest thumpers. We thought it would make us less man. We were arrogant. We were full of ourselves. Grandstanding and counting who will blink first.
That was ignorance. Being unable to decipher that accepting blame is the first step to healing especially if you are the aggressor. Once one accepts the blame they are then supposed to see it to that the mistake does not recur again deliberately. Repeating a mistake in the pretense that you will be forgiven is an abuse to the patience and tolerance of the offended party.
This brings me to the next aspect of forgiveness: sincerity. Do not just say something, mean it. Walk the talk. Some people go ahead to make it up to others. I don’t know whether to call it emotional bribery or desire to be in good terms. Such people wrong you and feel that apologizing is not enough. They buy you something like lunch or a drink. While one would understand that if the act been regretted has caused another some physical harm the offender ought to recoup the loss by treating the other party well. Say I have deliberately cut your finger. I should take you to hospital. It should come from me not a reminder or a legal persuasion that I am being pushed to implement.
The above should not be confused with revenge. Revenge is when the offended party hits back in order to get even. Two wrongs do not make a right. It is a fallacy that tit for tat is a fair game. Mahatma Gandhi indeed said that tit for tat will lead to the whole world being blind.
Revenge escalates a conflict. It is not something that should be done when there are a million viable alternatives to pursue. Like having a dialogue. Communication cures many broken relationships. All relationships fall and rise with communication or lack of it.
In the political circles they call it consultation. The consultations come with terms and conditions. These ifs, buts and what ifs anchor the agreement. People approach dialogue table with doubt and skepticism. I would advise anyone to have an open mind and not jumping into prejudgment. The Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) you write and sign is a tool of trust. I should be able to have faith in you that you will keep your part of the bargain. Unfortunately, those who have been hurt long ago deleted the word trust in their dictionary and substituted it with doubt plus fear as its synonym.
Once you have been forgiven you should do anything and everything that is humanely possible to be faithful to the conditions that bind you. After all, the trust, the MoU, the vow and the swearing that you do will be meaningless if they are violated.
Methinks no one is too bad to be grudged neither is there a sin that is too red to be pardoned. It behooves the offended party to give the aggressor a second chance. It is also the duty of the aggressor to utilize the chance because an opportunity is a moment. It comes and goes. If you don’t capitalize on the moment do not cry over spilt milk.
Timeliness is an important aspect in forgiveness. Imagine you step on my toe and a half an hour later you come to say sorry. It that not a lazy joke or insult to my mental faculties? Apologies should come in the heels of mistakes.  That ways they are more acceptable and believable.
Still on time, remembering is paramount in reconciliation. Remembering that you have learnt a lesson from the experience and not being a fool to always learn from experiences. Learning from experience is painful. It can even take your life regardless on which side of the conflict you are in. This is not to say when you forgive somebody you keep reminding them that you did them a favour. No. The remembrance is on the part of the forgiven. Be grateful that someone has forgiven you debt of sin. When is done even God is happy and forgives the aggressor too.
Dawa ya moto si moto ni maji. If a building catches fire you don’t add more fuel, you extinguish the fire by water. Such is the situation when the standoff is resolved amicably. The devil is ashamed. When you love your enemy, they will think why they are being given a lease of life. They will reflect and eventually see the light.
Since relationships and conflicts have differences, it is not something to mourn about. It is a recipe for toasting champagne. Similarity bores. Some people just want to be different in exercise of their creativity. In the process they may end up hurting you. Forgive them, tomorrow it may be you. Diversity is the child of differences. And differences show how unique we are. Thus differences should urge us to celebrate our diversity and embrace variety.
The writer is a 3rd year student of Bachelors of Arts Degree in Communication and Media at Chuka University. He also blogs at musyokangui.blogspot.com




Sunday, September 29, 2013

In the crosshairs of terror: A first-hand experience as told by Musyoka Ngui

In the crosshairs of terror: A first-hand experience as told by Musyoka Ngui

December 2011.Being new in college was a bittersweet experience. We were the pilot batch of double intake. The pilot project was on the runway and about to take off.
We flocked the new college eager to learn anyway. But it was crowded and muddy. Resilient, we did not give up when we learnt at the eleventh hour that the resident hostels were full and the nearby non-resident hostels were fully booked. The only place we could get hostels was eight kilometers away. It was a hustle. Kibugua was far from Chuka. The college bus subsidized our transport by dropping and picking us each day of the weekday. It charged only KES. 30 as opposed to the matatu price of KES.100.
And so during the weekends we were idle. We ate, read and slept. We could roam the village, admire fertile fields under crops and occasionally visit comrades.
Being a journalist student, I had a natural knack for reading. I engrossed myself in newspapers: filled crossword puzzles read features and occasionally wrote simple stories to benchmark against practicing media writers. In my usual reading I stumbled upon an advert about the youth in the Daily Nation’s Zuqka pullout. It called for the young people to submit essays for consideration by an international NGO. It also dangled the carrot of award money for the finalists. The overall winner was to get KES. 120 000 while first and second runners ups to pocket KES. 100,000 and 500,000 respectively.
This being Kenya I was careful not to take the ad as gospel truth. I thought it was a gimmick or scam. Of the five questions posed I chose the one dealing with the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs). I researched, wrote, drafted, compiled and delivered my submissions by hand. I was going to my alma mater and dropped at Nairobi’s Parklands where the head offices of Amkeni Wakenya are located in Mayfair Suite building. The receptionist gladly showed me the box full of brown envelops and I dropped mine and forgot. To say I stood a chance to be considered let alone to win was an nth possibility given I did not know anybody.
I made my submissions on January 11 2012-a Wednesday. I was upbeat and confident that I had reached thus far.
The first quarter of 2012 found me eager to try my hands on something charitable. I wanted to volunteer just for experience. When an international NGO called German Agro Action (GAA) and an Italian one CESVI recruited me to assist them in researching about mother and child nutrition health in our district I kept myself busy. We travelled to far flung villages by Land Rovers measuring the babies’ heights and weights as well as dispensing them nutrition tablets and some pasty concoctions in sachets.
When we were through with the research we gave out our findings to the Project Coordinator. In return the two organizations tipped us with KES. 8000 for lending them our time. The little cash would come in handy during the dry semester of May- August.
I received an unusual email from the Youth Agenda, Amkeni Wakenya and the UNDP. You know that they were informing me that they had shortlisted candidates for consideration following their participation in the international essay writing competition. I was not getting the drift until I remembered it has been six months since I submitted my essay. But I wondered why they wanted my ID and passport photo. They claimed they wanted to create a profile to ascertain they were dealing with an authentic person and not a robot. I was reluctant since there was no guarantee that I was not being duped. I did not want to appear gullible. I called my parents and friends who congratulated me. However, I warned them that it was too early to celebrate and it was important to keep my options open for anything.
In the meantime I did what I do best: studying for my degree. I kept tabs on the Lady Luck email. I crossed my fingers that all was well and it was not kidnapers fattening me for slaughter at a remote human trafficking center.  
The semester was not exactly hard. In fact, it was brief and sealed the diminutive tag of being a fresher. I wanted to be done with the first year like now if not yesterday.
We lived in the future. Not because we had promises to live up to. We just did not have any information to make sound decisions. It was uncertainty.  I booked a hostel near the main campus just in case we were to return for the September –December academic half year. It was not to be. When the university kept silent about the whole issue of reporting back we played along. We accepted a second long holiday and focused on making lemonade from the lemon. We did not complain. We understood.
When I finished high school I had made certain contacts in the village community school I taught Kiswahili, Biology and Business Studies.
I called the principal but she regretted she did not have the vacancy and in any case she had replaced me. To flog a dead horse, she warned me that she was in a “high profile” meeting and common sense should tell me that I should call later. I hanged the phone and heaved a heavy sigh of resigned relief.
What about my alma mater? Did they have anything for their son? Help came from an unlikely source. There was this young teacher who taught us Chemistry and Physics and was “saved”. We hated him with passion for “selling” us to the deputy whenever we sneaked from the school to go and buy maandazi.
He told me that he had a contact at a sister school and he could link me up. It was a no strings attached deal that left me ashamed for thinking he did not mean well for us during our stint at the boys’ school. I thanked him profusely.
Not only did I find a vacancy but also found a spot for my pet subject: English and Literature. The principal trusted me to steer the forth formers to the KCSE as I was better placed since I was fresh from high school and the set books were the same. I was glad to help the young girls analyze various works of fiction. I demystified to them the plots, characters, characterization and the highlighted themes. This gave the principal enough time to deal with monos that were lagging behind in syllabus coverage. When the results came out the girls did not disappoint.
On October 26, 2012 I reported to work early since I was on duty. It was on a Friday. The teacher on duty must ensure that students take breakfast early, attend morning classes, clean the compound and assemble for the parade on schedule. I did all that religiously. There was no hitch. Things ran like clockwork. I had an 8 o’clock class that was a double. 80 minutes is not something you go freestyle without prior preparation. I gave the candidates plenty of revision questions and set at the back to watch them tackle. We later revised the questions. I left homework as usual and walked to the staffroom.
No sooner had I entered than Ms. Kalani told me I had some calls to return and perhaps some SMSs to write. The calls were from a fixed number. The landline was persistent but on hitting the 13th dial it gave up. I had this intuition that it was an urgent matter. To compound the worry, I had not checked my email for a whole one month.
Lucky, I had enough airtime to return the calls. When my colleagues realized I was nervous they consoled me and advised me to take breakfast first.  One served me tea and the other maandazis. I helped myself.
I rang the number. The other end was hesitant.  The dialing was taking longer than usual. I held on. It was a gent on the other end. He was soft-spoken. “I am here at Panari Hotel with the other finalists and I can’t see you. Are you held up in a jam or what?” I was lost. I enquired where he works. He said it was Amkeni Wakenya. He urged me to hurry up and catch up with the other participants at the awards gala that evening at Sarova Stanley.
I explained my predicament to the Deputy Principal. She was categorical that it was not yet end month even though it was only four days shy. However, the kind mother she was she gave me KES. 1500 for the transport to Nairobi. She also granted me permission plus a two day off. What more could one ask? It was dream come true. The weekend was beckoning. I could not resist.
I hurriedly rushed to my rented apartments and stuffed clothes for the trip even without having a vehicle in sight. From Kyuso to Mwingi is dusty and potholed. Corrugations on the earthen floor are like ribs. They shatter the windows of the vehicles and shake the loose seats. Woe unto a traveler who sleeps in such a rough terrain. They are rudely awakened by a smash on a metallic frame on the rusted wall of the vehicle. The buses are crammed, overloaded and lack breathing space. Being only at 10am all the buses had madly rushed to Mwingi and would come back starting 1pm. It was a transport system that requires one to wake up early to catch the bus and if they are not lucky they postpone the journey.
No way was I to call of my trip. I hired a bodaboda and rode to the main road. I reached the tarmacked Mwingi-Garissa road at 1pm. The sun was scorching and I was hungry too. When the bus pulled up at the Tawfiq Supermarket I grabbed a bottle of water and gulped. I bought biscuits and yoghurt and returned to the bus.
The driver had a short temper. He was impatient and a sizeable number of passengers were left at Mwingi. One could not help but notice the high number of new entrants who replaced those who had disembarked.
Just before we reached the bridge near Kanginga Academy the driver stopped. Some more people were ushered on board. Allegedly, they had a sack and some briefcases.
The touts ensured that everybody paid up within the first leg of the journey. The vehicle cruised like a bullet. It was christened Zafex. There were many Somalis, Kambas, Chinese expats as well as Ethiopians and Somalia Somalis. There were children too. I cannot quantity the number of loads on the corridor of the bus but they were many enough to cause a stampede if anything happened.
I sat near the driver, two rows of seat away. It did not take long before we arrived at Matuu. There was a long yellow spiky road block mounted by the officers. On either side of the road they stood brandishing guns and pistols. The conductors alight. After talking to the traffic police, they differed irreconcilably.  We were under arrest. We were ordered to disembark. All adults alight save for the elderly and children. The queues were long and searches thorough. Others suggestive and utterly inappropriate. We were head counted and found to be in excess.
The police suspected that the remnants in the bus were hiding something. Despite the pleas by the crew to have the marginalized inside the bus, the boots prevailed upon them and everybody was out. We were ordered to produce our national IDs and passports. Men and women were on different lines. Curiously, there was not even one lady officer to frisk the women. All of us were dusted by mean policemen. Suspects started coming out of the woodwork. Some immigrants lacked IDs while others bore expired passports. Still forged documents were netted. We had a case to answer. The police were not convinced that we were clean. “Into the bus”, was the order and we complied like machines.
We were driven express to Matuu Police Station. There, we found more police officers in different uniform and with rifles of different firepower. Other police officers were plain clothed. Time was ticking towards 3pm.
This time round we were ordered to alight with our luggage and stand in line with the luggage for inspection. I called my parents and recounted them my fate that had engulfed me. My mother was particularly worried and every ten minutes she would call me and ask whether I was safe.
I called Amkeni Wakenya. They got tired of me and did not pick my call. I texted their landline only to learn the hard way that SMSs do not travel by Telkom masts. Lastly I called my cousin in Nairobi and furnished him with the details of my email so that he may update me and in case I do not make it he represent me. Unsurprisingly, the police had no issue with the Kambas and other ethnic Bantus and Nilotes but were particularly critical with the Cushites. Entrenched stereotypes were blinding them to turn a blind eye on some communities and target others in the fight of the war on terror.
Our luggage took longer than usual. The sun was descending to the horizon faster. I gathered courage and stood up to the OCPD. I informed him that I had a gala to attend that fateful Friday night and it was important that I attend in person. He would hear none of it. He threatened to shoot me and told me off that I should go back to the bus and stay with my fellow terror suspects. He said we will be taken to court on Monday. That meant we were to spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday in police custody, a euphemism for police cells.
The horror of horrors emerged when a small box was left in the boot unclaimed. The police asked for the owner but everybody shied away from identifying with it. The Pandora box flew open. Wah! Homemade explosives! Everybody was shocked. The bus was en route Eastleigh . Question is who was the target and why.
I saw two police officers fire at a target on close range. I later learnt they were rehearsing how they will shoot us if we acted out of orders. We lined up again for another exercise. We did not know which.
By this time the bomb experts had arrived from Thika and Nairobi. The military was sniffing. The media took us photos and also shot the bus. Finally the dark night swallowed us like a large whale. I was alone. As we were on the queue I saw someone who dressed like he was educated. He had official wear and shining black shoes. I greeted him. He told me he was a teacher from Dadaab Refugee Camp and he was going to Nairobi. I told him I was a student teacher at Kyuso Girls’ Secondary School. We exchanged educated jokes to release the tension of the sad situation we were riveted in.
The security agents wanted to detonate the bomb but thought otherwise. Maybe they thought they would kill the evidence they had against us suspects. They nicely sealed the deadly box and put it away. All this time we were standing. Children cried of pangs of hunger while others vomited. The elderly were wasted and laid on the ground. We were told to remove our simcards from the handset, put a sticker on either and surrender our gadgets to the gluttonous officers “to assist in investigations”. Our phones were confiscated just like that without a question. That turned out to be the last time I set my eyes on my phone.
We were led into a building which was high and closed. We walked past the police offices up to the back. There was high perimeter wall which was fenced by razor -sharp wires ready to electrocute any breakaway.
We started to record statements immediately. Women were given the first priority. The Somalis spoke Somali Kambas Kamba and foreigners watched as Kenyans divided along ethnic lines. Only police communicated to us in broken Swahili. I enquired from one Ethiopian family whether they understood Swahili. They gave an emphatic no. We talked in English. It was a family of four: a mother, a daughter, another daughter, and a son. They were black as South Sudanese- something I admired in this Africa were plastic surgery and skin corrosion with cyanide, mercury and other heavy metals have taken a life of their own. We became great friends with the boy. He told me they came to Kenya when they were young fleeing war, lived in Dadaab for some time and now they were going to Nairobi. He was worried that his alien passport was to expire in three years and he was not ready to go back to Ethiopia. He wanted to stay in Kenya.
At this time, the interrogation was heated. We could eavesdrop police detectives shouting at the suspects, suspects denying vehemently and utter noise ensuing the juggle way.
The hygiene was deteriorating. We shared toilets Christians and Muslims, children and adults, Kenyans and foreigners. I got an up-close and personal preview of how Muslims observed strict sanitary hygiene by bathing their bowels every time they had a long call of nature. Mothers helped children right before everyone. Children continued to cry for food. Some were suckled by their mothers. Others were tucked under hijabs and slept hungry.
I prayed with eyes open. I said “Why God? Why Me? Why Now?” I did not get an answer but believed God was doing something. His ways are mysterious and beyond human understanding.
Muslims washed feet and bowed to pray for all of us.
At around 4am it was my turn to face the detectives. They were three officers. I did an oral interview first. The lead questioner was friendly and keen. He asked me to recount my ordeal up to now. I brought him up to speed faster than faiba. He asked me about the major loading, departure and movement of the passengers. I was not helping him. He gave me a paper to summarize what I had said. I littered the foolscap with ink. He read through and stamped. He even had a chit chat with me. I was shaking. He wanted to know why I could not keep still. My teeth were gnashing. I told him it was the weather.
“Are you afraid?”
“No.”
“Do you know the owner of the abandoned luggage?”
“No afande!”
“What do you do?”
“I am a journalism student on holiday teaching at a local community school.”
“Good.”
“Thanks.”
“Call the next suspect.”
“Ok. Thank you.”
Saturday daybreak. The police allowed vendors to come and sell newspapers, snacks and tea. I bought a Daily Nation. It ran a story about our bus. It even broke the news about the suspects alleged to be the masterminds of the grenade. I did not know that yet I was mingling with them for the last 18 hours.
The police were far from being done with us. We were to be taken passport photos and imprint our fingerprints. It was a tedious process of decoding the DNA of the terrorist criminals. The non Kenyan Somalis were separated from us by way of looking at their immunization on the left elbow. Most refugees, it was alleged, were not immunized for TB and such it was a walk in the park to spot them. My good Ethiopian friend was taken away from me.
Later I learned that the driver and the touts were charged in court for allowing their vehicle to carry weapons. I do not know the fate of the suspects the police zeroed in on but I saw some being taken back to Mwingi, allegedly beaten up and allegedly forced to accept they were the chemical engineers of the grenade. I lost track of the case ever since.
At 11am the grenade was detonated by the military. It shook the earth and deafened ears. The bus was still in the custody of the police. The owners were there too.
I admired the immense brotherhood of the Somali families and leaders. Somali imams and sheikhs visited the affected passengers all the way from Garissa and Nairobi. They brought foodstuffs, water and money. They helped everybody. They distributed cakes to us and made sure that no one was not chewing. They wore white caps engraved mosques. Others donned white kanzus and brown ones. They drove expensive fuel guzzlers- the kind that Uhuru recalled from Cabinet Ministers because they were high maintenance liabilities.
Finally we were released at around 6pm Saturday. The core suspects were left to rot there. While at the station I saw strange things: chicken thieves, wizards, violent robbers, charmers and those who swore they were innocent souls. All of them had an untold story.
The police declined to give back our phones until after two weeks. Those interested were to pick their gadgets form Zafex Company offices at Eastleigh. I gave up mine. Fellow victims and survivors boarded back the same Zafex after being freed but I took an entirely different path. I walked with my two numb feet to Matuu town and begged an MPESA operator to assist me with his phone so that I at least call home. I had the numbers on my fingertips.
That evening I went to Nairobi by matatu and found my cousin had represented me well and in fact I was number one in my category and the first overall. I was amazed. I was so happy. I pocketed KES. 120,000 because of the power of my pen. The pen had thrashed the gun. Indeed the pen is mightier than the gun. I invested the money wisely and do not regret never attending the star-studded awards gala at Sarova Stanley Hotel where Eric Omondi talked passionately and comically about Musyoka Ngui he only saw on a Magic Wall beaming with grace.
Thank you God for preserving us, thanks Amkeni Wakenya, Youth Agenda and UNDP for believing in the Kenyan youth and investing in them.
I have hung the commemorative plaque in my bedroom to remind me of my triumph, my encounter with the State security agents fighting the Al-Shabaab. The laptop I am typing away with is a fruit of the sad chapter I would want to forget. The second year fees I paid for myself and that immortalized the effort of my willingness to remember and never take the peace we enjoy for granted lest we learn the lessons the hard way-through experience, that ruthless teacher.
The writer is a 3rd year student of Bachelors of Arts Degree in Communication and Media at Chuka University. He also blogs at musyokangui.blogspot.com
















Sunday, September 22, 2013

Matunda ya Jasho



Matunda ya Jasho
Script by Musyoka Ngui
Executive Producer: Robert Onyango
Director: Martin Wangari
Executive Director: Franklin Nyaboga Momanyi
SYNOPSIS
I write this story to celebrate the first graduation ever held in Chuka University. For the purpose of economizing on the limited time (Max. 15 minutes) and microphones (they are quite few) I have used only three characters to condense the story without losing the meaning.
Sit pretty as I roll the curtain and usher in Matunda ya Jasho ( Fruits of Sweat)
CHUKA UNIVERSITY THEATRE AND ARTS CLUB PRESENTS
MATUNDA YA JASHO (FRUITS OF SWEAT)
 ENJOY!











(Runda Hostels. Max has come to visit his fiancĂ©e, Ella, a fellow final year comrade. Ella’s roommate, Shirley is a fresher. Ella and Max are clearing from the university in a week. They are excited about their graduation.)
Shirley: Aki c mnafurahi!
Max: Of course. But truth is tunalia na jicho moja kama punda.
Ella: Honey and talking of punda ours has been four full years of donkey work. (To Shirley) Nyi mafresha tulieni kuna watu wameona mengi.
Max: Unatucheki…ukiniona ivo nkona one, two, three, four years of experience. Nimehustle. Nimeuza njugu, nkafunza, nkamodel, nkaimba na  bado.
Shirley: Ukaiba?
Max: Zi. Nkaimba.
Shirley: Ooooooh!
Ella: Na kuna kiemployer kinagoja mtu akimada campo kiseme hana experience. Kwani kuhustle si experience?
Shirley: Guys don’t just look at the cold and dry side of Mt. Kenya. Don’t dwell on the drought famine and hunger. I am sure there have been warm and wet moments in your campus life.
Max :( Scribbling) Nikaambiwa niandike about my campus life in the last four years hata siwezi nikajaza paragraph.
Shirley: Gosh! But why?
Max: I can only put a dot and a comma like this. I don’t have anything to write home about.
Ella: (thinking nostalgically) I will miss campus life. Where comrades are free. Oh my! Freedom to do what you want but responsibly. I will live to remember waking up at noon, watching movies till dawn and drinking my “Blue Moon” only to be illuminated by the real moon up in the sky as I stagger to my beloved Runda hostel at night.
Shirley: What about the graduation folks? Don’t you look forward to it? Imagine God has preserved you, given you knowledge, paid your school fees and now you are about to graduate.
Max: Enyewe Sir God hapo nimekuinamishia. (Bows) Kuna wasee wengi tulianza na wao na walipass, wengine wakapewa maretake na madisco but I survived. Kwanza Ella unakumbuka ile rende ya akina Gaza venye ilikuwa imecopypaste teo na lec akajua? Ilikuwa mambo mbrrrchaaaa!
Shirley: You know I am fresh from high school and can’t get the picture of a graduate. Kwanza kuna kazi nje?
Ella: Ngai!, usiseme. C mtu atatarmack  mpaka kiatu iishe? Kazi yenye yemebaki tu ile ya kutafuta kazi. Usicheke msee akisaka job kwa obituaries rather than the vacancies section of the newspaper. Unemployment ni national disaster hasa kwa mayouths.
Max: Mnajua kitu? Me nimejisort. Sitafuti kazi nitatengeneza kazi.
Shirley: (Ironically) Wow! Listen to Bill Gate wa Chuka. Sema Mark Zuckerberg a.k.a Steve Jobs wetu.
Ella: Don’t you ever despise my boyfriend. I know you don’t think it is possible and also you are interested in him. I will fight to keep him and I am not ashamed about that. Keep off Max. (Threatens to slap Shirley)
Shirley: I am not jealous of anyone. Besides I am new here and reliable sources tell me that freshers sell more like hotcakes in every campus. If you are threatened and feel endangered that is not my problem, it is yours. Deal with it. I really don’t care.
(Max separates them and brokers peace.)
Max: Najua hakuna kazi na mbwa kali annabwekea majob hunters wanaograduate. Every Friday the secretary burns envelops from job applicants na kibao ya HAKUNA KAZI is hung at the entry of the office. Now with that in mind I can make a difference.
Ella: Shirley you better listen and stop looking down on people.
Max: Zi, ameskia. (Silence)
Max: Unaona Dandoh?
Shirley: Ati Dandoh? Where is that?
Max: Dandorah! Kwan unatoka mashambani wapi?
Shirley: Na si ungesema Dandorah?
Max: Hey c nshasema kwan haujaskia?
Ella: (To Shirley) Ni wewe unasimulia story ama ni Max? Max anyamaze utueleze kuhusu Dandorah?
Shirley: Ni clarification tu.
Max: Sasa, hiyo Dando yangu kuna garbage sana. Kuna shonde, karatasi, chupa, etc.but you can turn garbage to gold yaani from trash to treasure. Here is how. With my Green Revolution Company Limited, as the MD I can hire street kids, pay them to sort the trash and voila! recycle the waste. The rest as they say will be history.
Shirley: Where will you get the money?
Max: Unauliza swali ama jibu? Kuna microfinance ya power itanipatia low interest loan for that project. I am sorted. Biz nayo ikipick masponsors watakuwa wanipigania ka venye watoi hupigania lollipop. Besides serikali imesema inapatia vijana grants free of charge.
Ella: That is a great idea honey. You will clean the environment, employ street urchins and make money. Wow! I love your brilliance.
Max: Thanks. Hope you will support me.
Ella: Yeah. With my Baba Alinituma (yaani BA) in Entrepreneurship I will put theory to practice. Hiyo plus BCOM yako na maCPA  apo kila cent itakuwa accounted for.
Shirley: (to Ella and Max) Gotea uzito!
Ella and Max :( in unison) Yeah gota!
(Ella goes to the kitchen and serves Max and Shirley juice. She goes back for her glass. They toast. Soon they tear a packet of biscuits and start enjoying themselves.)
Max: (all holding up their glasses for a toast). To Shirley: has been an awesome pal of my gal Ella. For the short time I have known you, dear u etch incredible memories. You are just a fresher but have done a lot to us. To Ella: thanks for the hold, keep and honour.  The vows go unbroken. To all: cheers, good health and good life. (They chime glasses. Kenny Rogers’ song Vow Go Unbroken plays in the background.)
(Max bows, Ella and Shirley curtsy. The audience gives a standing ovation amid applause.)
Curtain
The end