Small ways which make big differences

VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL

Small ways which make big differences

“I guess having someone who knows and appreciates you for who you are rather than what you have is the best Valentine’s gift one can ever have.

BY MUSYOKA NGUI

musyokangui02@gmail.com

O

ne of the most popular versions of the origin of Valentine’s Day holds that Valentine was a young man who helped Christians during persecution. His luck ran out and was caught, jailed and condemned to ruthless death. In a strange twist of fate, he struck friendship with the hangman’s daughter and on the dreaded day of execution that fell on February 14, he wrote her a note signed “Your Valentine”.

Saint Valentine is said to have been imprisoned for conducting wedding for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for preaching to Christians who were persecuted by the ancient Roman Empire. When serving his jail term, Valentine is said to have healed a daughter of his persecutor, Asterius. Before he was sent to the gallows, he wrote her a romantic missive signed “Your Valentine” as a way of saying goodbye. Celebration of Valentine’s Day is a reminder of his martyrdom and efforts men can endure just to say the famous three words: I Love You.

CONSUMERISM AND COMMERCIALIZATION

However, today Valentine’s Day is a far cry from its original intent and purpose. It is shrouded in excessive consumerism and bizarre commercialization of the holiday. If you are broke you are branded a loser and you are likely to be dumped on Valentine. It is a day steeped in high expectations skewed against one gender. Ladies expect to be treated like queens yet they do not want to make the same efforts for their men. They say a good turn deserves another but ladies somehow have a way to get away with it. But this double standard should be challenged by anyone who values equality, responsibility and genuinely believes in true love.

BUYING HAPPINESS

Valentine’s Day happens to come just as we recover from January blues and are likely to be broke. If you find yourself taking a loan to make your spouse happy then I dare say it is not worth it. If she loves you because of your money its better she leaves since not all times will your pockets be deep and full. This day need not give you unnecessary pressure. If she doesn’t understand you she does not deserve the special treatment.

Whether you are going through lean times or having some disposable income it is the thought that counts. Loving your partner is a daily exercise and should not be restricted to a Western import of what love is. Popular singer Madonna sang No Romance Without Finance. Well, it is true but it does not have to be everything. Love is expensive. Unrealistic and irrational expectations only serve to make it costlier. I guess having someone who knows and appreciates you for who you are rather than what you have is the best Valentine’s gift one can ever have.

So what’s the most appropriate gift to send a significant other this Valentine’s? You can spoil your loved one with roses, teddy bears, cards, candle lit dinners, travels, perfumes and phones. While in the overdrive madness of trying to buy happiness literally pause and think about your motive. If you want to conform to your peers’ pressure or are succumbing to aggressive marketing gimmicks splashed in the media then you are missing the whole point.

SEIZE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY

Valentine’s Day presents a perfect opportunity to send special messages to those who matter in our lives. Seize the moment and say thank you or even sorry by actions. After all, actions speak louder than words.

To be honest, gifting of any nature is supposed to reciprocal-at least to me. It is selfish to expect to be showered with gifts without you responding in kind. You don’t have to make it sound like you are paying back the loved one but s/he deserves it. There are millions of people who wanted to be remembered (but it never happened) and your significant other chose you. Is that not special enough?

This Valentine’s Day surprise your partner with a gift of your choice. Happy Valentine’s Day!

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.

—William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5

The writer is a blogger at musyokangui.blogspot.com and a Fourth Year Communication and Media student at Chuka University.