Miraa Mirrored

HORTICULTURE

FLOWERY MAUA’S MIRAA

 As the semester neared closure and students flocked the library for final touches before the exam, Charles, my friend poked me about where I will spend my long vacation. At first I hesitated. I said I am not one of those guys who rush home as if they were in exile .I would nostalgically stay at Meru and see what it has to offer. Not that I did not miss my folks back home. I did. I said I wanted to go to Nairobi to while away vacation as a kept a finger on the pulse of the job market.

“No, come this way we go to Maua you experience the brisk business of khat. Besides, It is past July and the chill has subsided.” He convinced me.

Rather than rot in the city that is infamous for its stress and suffocation, I took my jumper and suite-case and off we went to Maua.

As we neared the khat plantations, my ignorance blinded me. I saw mid-sized trees with overhanging branches .Succulent twigs, they were.  Some looked like ashes in the trunk, at the edges of the branches were clusters of leaves .I did not ask Charles what those trees were. A man would rather taste than be told it is sweet or bitter. And so, consumed by the flames of adventure, I mischievously slipped from the house and headed directly to a nearby plantation. I cut a branch and bit it. I felt like vomiting. Bitter herb!

I rushed to the house and drunk a mug of water and brushed my teeth. “You ‘eat’ with ball gum, Big G , Cocacola or tea. That way masteam  znakam” , Charles told(read: taught)me. Then his voice lowered to a whisper and he said: Do not go plucking anyone’s green gold. People here are cut hands for stealing miraa. I was frightened by the merciless Merians. But later I came to love them. Contrary to the stereotypes in the media and tribal cocoons, Merians are not ill-tempered, impatient or murderous. No Kenyan woman is as hardworking as a Merian. They are warm and welcoming .They serve you a mountain of food and place the pot at standby for self service.

Miraa is planted by vegetative propagation. Branches are cut and buried in soil to grow. They need alot of water and can wither if they are not constantly supplied with water. However, the best is saved for the last. There is a much deserved fun as the farmer harvests the product. These cash cows enable the planters to erect real estates , pay school fees and save the surplus for the future. No wonder Meru has an influx of commercial banks.

Another amazing thing is the Merians embracing other communities. Somalis freely mix with the Merians in cultivation and harvesting to sale of miraa. Birds of a feather flock together. They have learn each other’s vernacular and are also reliable consumers of own product. Talk of made in Kenya by Kenyans for Kenyans. 

If you though the horticulturalists from Mt. Kenya are myopic, then think again. They package their miraa for both the local and international market.  Often, pick-ups and bodaboda taxis transport this coveted stuff. For the purpose of maintaining the khat’s freshness, polythene bags wrap the moisture around the herbs. The vapour may evaporate therefore making the twigs stale and compromise consumer quality. The” ganja” planters know this only too well and even diversify to eco-friendly banana leaves to cover miraa from sunlight.

Perishables are delicate. They require speedy transport and quick consumption. Next time a pick –up on Meru-Nairobi Highway gives you a close shave count yourself lucky and thank God that you are not six feet under .These ambulances need to get to the market fast. However, this should not be done at the expense of flouting the traffic rules, killing or injuring innocent Kenyans .Moderation is the key.

Matatu drivers claim that they want to relief stress and hangovers and sink into deep addiction. They squander family income in miraas to the chagrin of their poor dependants. Students drop out of school in the false assumption of getting a quick dime .Nothing irks the eye more than a miraa chewer spitting green saliva on the floor or the ground .Given the tooth decay and mouth odour I wonder whether they brush their teeth. If no, don’t they turn off their partners in the name of kissing?

It is debatable whether or not miraa causes impotence. One theory contends that they produce watery and headless sperms that cannot swim and thus unable to fertilise the ovum. Medical researchers need to dig deeper to come up with solid evidence on this controversial issue. But one thing is sure :miraaa causes  insomnia. Your eyes are kept open in the dark night as you struggle  to sleep .If you are not a long distance truck driver or a watchman( Let me be gender sensitive for once, A Chief Security Officer) do not touch miraa for it makes you forever alert and active even when you don’t want to.

After a week of stay I went home. Home sweet home. There’s no place like home.