It is never the victim’s fault

It is never the victim’s fault

My answer to all survivors of sexual or even physical assault is that it is never your fault. Your attacker bears full responsibility, no matter what!

BY MUSYOKA NGUI

Kenya has been visited by untold carnage with devastating human cost and suffering. This violence mainly comes from Al Shabaab terrorists and street idlers. A quick recap is in order. The Al Shabaab claimed responsibility for Westgate Mall attacks, Mpeketoni and Mandera Bus massacre. There have also been witnessed bandit attacks in Kapedo and other smaller scale assaults in other towns in Kenya, mostly the coast, Nairobi and the former North Eastern Province.

Women have not been spared by Nairobi’s street idlers such as touts and loaders in bus parks. A total of at least three women have been stripped in broad day light. This humiliation is actually terrorism of domestic violence scale. It is as physical and psychological turmoil just like other forms of terrorism.

DISGUSTING AND UTTERLY UNFAIR

In the process of apportioning responsibility to those who are entrusted to protect the victims, the victims have been blamed for what befell them. It is disgusting and utterly unfair. Pundits took issue with President Kenyatta’s seemingly blame he laid squarely on the victims. The president had said that the citizen have the responsibility to protect themselves. The infamous “usalama unaanza na mimi na wewe”( security starts with me and you) narrative was invoked. Community policing is a good idea but where are the fruits of Nyumba Kumi project?

In his article Is President Kenyatta endorsing vigilantism? on Sunday Nation November 30, columnist Dr. Lukoye Atwoli observed “While one must agree that in general we need to be more vigilant and civic-minded, it is utterly irresponsible to suggest that everyone, and therefore no one, is responsible for our collective security. It is distasteful to ask, as the President did, why anyone left a three-year old girl with her uncle who eventually defiled her. The fact is that three-year-olds are supposed to be safe with their uncles. Women are supposed to be safe on our streets and in our matatus!”

HEALING THE PAIN

In his closing remark he argued “When we use intemperate language such as that employed by the President in reference to sexual and physical assault, we worsen the physical and psychological pain of the survivors, and delay healing. We shift the blame to the victims, and leave them asking if there was anything they could have done to provoke the attack, or to prevent it.

My answer to all survivors of sexual or even physical assault is that it is never your fault. Your attacker bears full responsibility, no matter what!. Atwoli is commenting from a point of authority since he is a consulting psychiatrist and the Dean, Moi University School of Medicine.

In an equally same scathing weight, George Kegoro wrote an opinion on the same day in the same paper titled It’s a sad day for Kenya as Uhuru pushes blame to victims. To quote him he said: “...from the President Uhuru Kenyatta’s reaction to the Mandera attack, the President indicated that there was no way the government could provide a policeman for each individual in Kenya, that the government had done its best, and that what now remained is for citizens to play their part in their own security. Thus, the President transferred responsibility to the citizens for the security lapse in Mandera, or any future security lapse”.

Victims of sexual violence are blamed for what befell them, justified with remarks such as “She asked for it”.

Kegoro concluded by arguing that the President “resorted to victim-blaming and exempted the government from responsibility for security” “.... the President’s speech was insensitive to the victims and survivors of violence and shows regrettable empathy for victims of serious crimes”,  Kegoro argued.

The victims of any form of violence deserve justice. The perpetrators must be brought to book.  The least that the president could have done is to apologize.

Any wonder that Oyunga Pala satirically wrote on Crazy Monday on November 23 2014 that “A woman gets assaulted and stripped while dressed in jeans, at a public bus park, in broad day light in front of onlookers. The male reaction? “Sorry and I do not advocate women getting assaulted but some women should also learn to dress decently”. The victim was actually decently dressed and the said jeans were not even a tight fit. “Sorry that these touts are ill mannered but some people just like asking for trouble. What was she doing there in the first place?”

SHOW COMPASSION

He concludes by offering a nugget of wisdom that “sex education should be introduced in school if for nothing else than to teach the meaning of consent and assault. Masculinity is not a power trip. Mature men who know better, have to start mentoring youth in their spaces. Offering good advice and providing solid examples.”

“To my younger brothers, forget all this real men bravado and start by being a decent guy. Showing compassion will not diminish your manliness,” he rests his case.

Victims, remember that it is never your fault.

Musyoka Ngui is a final year Bachelor of Arts student in Communication and Media at Chuka University. He manages his own blog called Youth Issue        ( musyokangui.blogspot.com) and is also technology reviewer with culturemob.com.