How not to be an intern

How not to be an intern

B

e casual and provocative. There is no rush. Things are never that serious. After all it is not like they are going to pay you for donkey business.

BY MUSYOKA NGUI

I was on a 91- day attachment at a local media outlet and can write from experience how to not be an intern.

It is not easy to land an attachment. You struggle to get and keep. You have to update your CV, Cover Letter and letter of introduction from the university. You are damned if you apply late for the job. You run around popping into office being greeted by mean stares.

If you do really want an attachment do not bother seeking one. Especially if you have problem following simple rules. Or you cannot report punctually. Be rude and arrogant. Have an overrated ego that you cannot start at such a low entry.

Wear according to your moods. Be casual and provocative. There is no rush. Things are never that serious. After all it is not like they are going to pay you for donkey business. Don that T-Shirt and jean. Only fools wear suits Monday-Friday. Or those seeking favours like being retained and other illusionary dreams.

Look down on colleagues because they are underpaid and overworked. They cannot match your theoretical skills despite their hands -on practice. Some are mere certificate holders while others only possess a diploma. How can they match your degree?

Cross the boss by antagonizing him. The colleague the boss fancies, that one, give a run for his money. Then use a third contact to let his wife know he is cheating. In the end you will win 10-nil.

Flash your laptop and camera to make a statement that you do not need the office artefacts. The office looks like a museum. Put the rest on notice against holding your equipment especially if they have no comprehensive insurance cover.

Once you are done with the job slavery, slam the door. Make it clear that they will miss you big time. A colossus has just straddled the work landscape. The next patient on the chopping board is here. Give him space. See, gentleman!

The writer is a final year student of Bachelors of Arts Degree in Communication and Media at Chuka University and a Blogger at musyokangui.blogspot.com

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