Date With Destiny

DATE WITH DESTINY

 Special Edition: Cultural Week Festivals

SYNOPSIS

A village girl, Kamene, is dating a city boy called Kariuki. Not only do they belong to different social strata but also they bear different ethnicity. Kariuki’s ambition is to contest for the County Governor’s seat against Kamene’s dad, Mzee Mambo. The rivalry advances to pit the youthful digital generation against elderly analogue era. Things get ugly. Will Kamene and Kariuki’s love survive the energy-sapping activity of political campaigns? If yes, who will win? What are the implications of this development? “Date With Destiny” is an attempt to disentangle the victims of tribalism from the yoke of ethnic hatred, bridge the yawning gap between the rich and poor and reconcile the youth with the elders. It is a must -watch. Kosa uchekwe!

Screen Writer: Musyoka Ngui

Scene 1

(Mzee Mambo is with his buddies drinking traditional liquor. They are laughing while sharing their experiences. He is seated on a log while the others Wazees sit on three-legged stools.)

Mzee Mutemi: Baba Kamene I heard that your zizi will need to be expanded.

Mzee Mambo: Namna gani wewe? Unamaanisha mambo ya ng’ombe?

Mzee Mutemi: I mean that word is going round that Kamene is courting a boy from the other side of the hill. Where we went to borrow salt and fire in the days of our childhood.

Mzee Tom: Mnaona hii area yote? Watu wamesikia sifa ya kijiji yetu. Wanasema tumeendelea sana. Wanataka kutafuta kiongozi wa jamii kutoka hapa.

Mzee Mutemi: I know what you want to say….

Mzee Tom: Ni wewe unaongea? Unataka ninyamaze uongee? Ongea basi.

Mzee Mutemi: Nimeacha. Hata nimesahau. Pengine kile nafikiria sio unachodhani. Watu ni tofauti.

Mzee Mambo: Ubaya ni kuona watu wazima wakiwa wanabishana kama watoto. Wazee inatakikana watulie. Waongee kama watu wazima. Wahenga husema palipo na wazee hapana neno.

Mzee Tom: Basi kama ni kuacha tuache. Mwenye hajui itabidi anunue roundi moja  ya uki ili niseme.

Mzee Mutemi: Bwana Mambo utanunua? Ni wewe hujui. Mimi na Tom tunajua.

Mzee Mambo: Ni nini kwanza? Kiongozi anayetafutwa anafaa awe na sifa gani? (Sniffs tobacco) Atchoo! Hii ni nini (Points at his white hair)  Hii ingine ni nini ( Touches his bare bald)

Mzee Mutemi: Wacha kuwa mkono birika. Ama ni mkono thermos? Nyoosha mkono wako ubariki vijana. Unatuambia taarifa ya uzee wako hapa na kila mtu anajua wewe ndiye mzee zaidi? That is not news bwana.

Mzee Mambo: Nitafanya hivyo tu kama utaahidi wazee hutatoboa siri na mambo yaishie hapa. Wazee sio wamama. Maneno ya wazee huishia kwa kikao.

Mzee Tom: (To Mzee Mambo): Toboa kabisa. Sema yote!

Mzee Mambo:( Calls his wife, Mukami): Mama Kamene letea hawa safari moja ya uki. Kopo ile kubwa.

Mzee Tom and Mzee Mutemi: Leo ni siku yetu. Baba yao amesema. Mwanamke harakisha wazee wanachoka na kugonja.

Mukami:(Pouring the liquor on calabashes) : Karibuni.( After some time they empty their calabashes. The scene closes before Mzee Mutemi spills the beans)

(Curtain)

 Scene 2

(The action takes place in a restaurant. Both Kamene and Kariuki are seated. The waiter comes over to take orders)

Waiter: His!

Kariuki and Kamene: Poaz!

Waiter : Mnakula nini?

Kamene: Ngoja kwanza tusororore menu tukimada tutakuita.

Kariuki: When we go for a family day out dad and mom sit at their place and me and Njeri sit on our table. Ka venye tumekaa sasa. What we talk they don’t hear and what they talk we don’t hear.

Kamene: And what do you eat?

Kariuki: Dad’s favourite dish is pilau chapo. Mom cooks that for him on special occasions. Like mom, I like chicken and ugali.

Kamene: What about your siz?

Kariuki: Njeri? Eish! Huyo hatakangi mafuta. She is sensitive to what she eats. Az in she is picky. She chooses soft and fast foods like spaghetti, chips and other take -aways.

Kamene: Acha nitafute kenye nakula basi. We inaonekana utakula sembe na kuku.

Kariuki: No darling. We must like the same things. You know love is about similarity.

Kamene:( Annoyed. To waiter): We Muthokoi iko wapi hapa? Ilete haraka.

Waiter: Hiyo hatuna madam. Samahani! Utakula githeri?

Kamene: Kwani umeona nikona machine ya kusanga mahindi kwa tumbo? Tuheshimiane. Ni mimi nakula si wewe.

Kariuki: Dear kuwa mpole. We can still eat nduma, ngwachi ama mukimo. Mom says they are even more nutritious than manufactured foods.

Kamene: Leta na kadhalika.

Kariuki: So umejam ivo hutakula? C’mon baby naongea na wewe?! ( Kamene shrugs her shoulders)

Kamene: Hii ndio ndema ya mwisho naangiza hapa. Ka haitakuwa tutacancel hii date. Period.( Knocking the table hard) :Waiter, lete mchele nyama.

Kariuki: ( Murmuring): Unajua we huku watu hula wild animals? Kuna Park hapa karibu. Usiitishe nyama ya ng’ombe ama mbuzi. Itisha kuku na uhakikishe wameweka headmaster katikati ya sahani kama evidence. Naivasha hii yote mpaka Nakuru ni punda, zebra, monkey na cranes. Chunga sana.(They are served as per their orders)

(Curtain)

Scene 3

(Same characters. Same settings)

Kamene: Excuse me honey, can I use the ladies washrooms? I’ll be back shortly.

Kariuki: Yes please (She was seated in the opposite side of the table. Stands up)

Kamene: Are you OK?

Kariuki: (Who is caught ogling and whistling at her beauty):  Ha! Me niko sawa. I was just checking your provisional results. The cleavage, the contours and the curves. God must have created you after lunch akiwa ameshiba. Watu wengine ( points at the waiter) waliumbwa na changarawe. Udongo na maji ziliishia katikati. Walimaliziwa na mate.

Kamene: No wonder wanakaa wanastand ivo. Na bado you have seen nothing. If you are losing your mind upon receiving only tentative results from our opponent’s constituencies utadu nini stronghold ikirelease matokeo yake? Tharaka Nithi bado! Stronghold nayo! Tulia.

Kariuki: Unadai nini? Ati ? I don’t get you.

Kamene: Wachwa hapo. Utawachwa kama vile mamba aliachwa na maji kwa ziwa wakati wa kiangazi. Final tallying bado. Hiyo tutafanyia Bomas sio KICC this time round. ( Kisses him and goes to the restroom)

Kariuki: Wow! Seating allowance jo!  Dashboard  hata haihitaji wiper. Mbele iko sawa. Flawless beauty. Nikikuangalia hata the very thought of you going to the loo does not cross my mind. You are an angel. Next to God. (Removes Kamene’s photo from his breast pocket and hugs it. Sings.)

Ukilala lala salama,

Kumbatia picha yangu

Matatizo chuki na wahma,

Vumilia mpenzi wangu,

Kumbatia picha yangu* 2

Kamene:(She is back from the loo) Who is sleeping? I thought we were eating. Gosh! You can make my appetite go away. Let’s eat first. Mambo ya kulala ni badaye or NEVER.

Kariuki:Ati what?

Kamene: You heard me.

(Curtain)

Scene 4

Mzee Mutemi: (Clears his throat): Hahaha! That uki has smoothened my body, mind and soul. It is exactly what is needed for a body that is fading fast from its former youthful state.

Mzee Tom: It reminds me of sour milk. Swirled in a gourd for days, inviting taste buds to try it. Pure gift from a loving wife.

Mzee Mambo: You must have a loving wife to enjoy a sweet pot. The black bird with sweet intestines is the best embodiment of affection for a husband from a wife.

Mzee Mutemi: They say the shortest route to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Any serious woman knows this only too well. Look at Mukami. Now look at Mzee Mambo(Smiles) Yeah, they are happy because they are taking care of that which sits among three pillars to be licked by red tongues.

Mzee Tom: Mambo siri mmesahau baada ya kulewa ama?

Mzee Mambo: Hamwezi kunywa pombe yangu na mwende hivyo. Mutemi, pasua mbarika.

Mzee Mutemi: Shhh! Mwanamke anasikia maneneo ya wazee. Mababu zetu watakasirika jamaneni. Tuongee polepole tafadhali.

Mzee Mambo: Mke wangu Mukami sio kila mwanamke. Usimtaje tena. Kama huna la kusema nyamaza ama ukawikie kwako. Hii ni shamba yangu na mimi ndio jogoo hapa.

Mzee Mutemi: Nilikuwa nasema hivi.(Pauses) Mnasikia? Sikieni vizuri. Eti jamii yetu inataka kiongozi mpya katika mfumo wa ugatuzi. Wazee wameangalia  na wakakosa watu. Inasemekana umma unataka Mambo. Binti yake, Kamene, anaolewa kumaanisha kuwa kijana anayemchumbia ataleta  ng’ombe na mbuzi nyingi hapa.(To Mzee Mambo) Anza kujenga zizi ingine mzee. Utakuwa tajiri wa kutajika. Kama ni hekima unayo. Angalia kipara na nywele nyeupe inavyomkaa. Kinachokosekana tu ni masomo. Kasheshe kanasema kuwa vijana wa jana watapingwa na vijana wa leo. Wa leo wanavaa suti, tai na wanaongea Kiingereza. Wana madigrii lakini Mzee wetu usijali. Tunaomba utawashinda.

Mzee Tom: Inshallah! Tutatolea miungu sadaka ya paka mweusi na kucha za mbwa na manyoya ya bata mzinga. Tukiongea na waliotutangulia miujiza itatendeka. Naamini Mzee Mambo atapenya.

Mzee Mambo: Ahsanteni sana kwa imani yenu mliyo nayo kwangu. Niko tayari kuwahudumia.

(Curtain)

Scene 5

( At Kariuki’s home.The political temperatures have hit feverpitch)

Faith: Daddy mipango inaendeleaje? Mmefika wapi?

Kariuki: We met yesterday and today we have a strategy committee to plan how we shall take over the reins of power of Kwetu County.

John: You are not doing enough. You know the other side, Ahem! The analogue era is approaching fast and gaining ground to triumph over you?

Kariuki: Dad don’t panic. We are in control.

John: You and who else?

Kariuki:  Kamene and I. My team is digital. Our troops are live online. Facebook.Twitter, Skype and Youtube. We mobilize our fans through the social media.

John: The trick about the youth is that they talk but do not act. Have you addressed the issue of voter registration? And that prostitute you call Kamene, their tribe has the tyranny of numbers. What do you have?

Kariuki: Dad you do not get me right. We are not herding Kwetuans into tribal cocoons. We are selling our ideology not ethnicity.

John: And mind you the elderly have money and means. They can manipulate State machinery to their advantage. What do you have? Nothing.

Faith: Son, I will stand by you. No matter what you have one sure vote from me.

Njeri: And for my elder bro, my loyalty. Remember how we grew up. The sweet nostalgia of childhood adventure, fond memories we want to relive. I pray you become the CEO. Governor Kariuki of Kwetu County.

John: That harlot called Kamene will spoil and split your election basket. How can you date our enemies? Remember the Mighty Samson, he was felled by a woman. Luanda Magere, sold out by a woman. Adam was also deceived by a woman.  What about you? A mere mortal. You will fall to her trap.

Kariuki: You know what? I have remembered something (Scratching his head) I have to meet Kamene and my campaign secretariat. She has agreed to support me even if I run against her father. We meet at her place. Let’s go now. Njeri, come with me.( Njeri clasps his hand and they speed off in a Range Rover.)

Faith and John: No no no! Come back here. What if something happens to you! You cannot trust enemies that way.

( After 30 minutes Njeri and Kariuki arrive at Kamene’s homestead. The campaign secretariat is holed up in a strategy meeting. Kamene hears the sound of a car and comes out to receive her guests.)

Kamene: Hi honey! Sorry for the journey. You must be tired. The meeting is on. Come over. (To Njeri): How are you dear?

Njeri: Fine.

(Unbeknown to Mzee Mambo, his rival has just pitched tent in his backyard. Wazees Mambo, Tom and Mutemi who were also strategizing [on how to rig the elections scheduled for the following day] come out of a tree shed)

Mzee Mambo: Young man, save your soul. You either fly or I finish you.

Kariuki: Why Mzee! A rival is not an enemy but your opponent. If the election is to be fair then the best man should win. No hard feelings.

Wazees  Mutemi and Tom: You see this sword and the machete? Tomorrow we shall kill you if you embarrass us in the polls.

Kariuki: What about my Chief Campaigner? My love and your daughter Miss. Kamene, will you kill her too?

Mzee Mambo: That cannot happen. (To Kamene): You are either with us or with the enemy. Decide now which side you belong. No watermelons here.

Kamene: No No No! Papa don’t hurt Kariuki. We have even planned to surprise each other if we win the County elections.

Mzee Mambo: Surprise? What surprise?

Kamene: We seal our union. We consummate it. We are so eager and thirsty to defeat you and your aging team. Then we go faaaaaaaar away for our honeymoon in Zanzibar. We get married.

Mzee Mambo: Mummy I am sorry I cannot grant your wish. We are in this race up to the finish line. No retreat nor surrender ( Wazees Tom and Mutemi nod)

Kariuki:Listen here.( Both analogue and digital teams pay attention) This is the last day of our campaign. We call for peaceful polls. Whoever loses to congratulate the victor and the loser to concede defeat. Anyone disputing the results should seek legal redress. Promise!

All: Promise! Yeah!

Kamene: I would like us to do a simple experiment. We should leave this place sure that there will be no tribal clashes. Me and Kariuki are going to extract blood samples from our middle fingers. Let’s do this( They do so)

Kamene: What is the colour of this blood?

All: Reeeeed!

Kamene: Very well. Right. When you go to hospital do you transfuse a Kikuyu , Kamba or Luo blood? When you donate blood do you instruct the doctor to label the blood your tribal tag so that it does not clot on the veins of the other community?

All: Nooooooo!

Kamene: Blood is blood. Red. Regardless of your tribe. Just as blood transfusion saves lives of people regardless of where it comes from or where it is going so should we work together for the prosperity of our County.

Kariuki: And that is the covenant we make today on the election eve. No bloodshed. Polls will come and go but your neighbor will remain. (Both rival teams are baffled by the wisdom of Kamene and Kariuki. They agree to sleep and wait for the following day, the polling day. Their date with destiny. Who shall win?)

(Curtain)

The End