DATE WITH DESTINY
Special Edition: Cultural Week
Festivals
SYNOPSIS
A village girl, Kamene, is dating a city boy called Kariuki. Not only do
they belong to different social strata but also they bear different ethnicity.
Kariuki’s ambition is to contest for the County Governor’s seat against
Kamene’s dad, Mzee Mambo. The rivalry advances to pit the youthful digital
generation against elderly analogue era. Things get ugly. Will Kamene and
Kariuki’s love survive the energy-sapping activity of political campaigns? If
yes, who will win? What are the implications of this development? “Date With
Destiny” is an attempt to disentangle the victims of tribalism from the yoke of
ethnic hatred, bridge the yawning gap between the rich and poor and reconcile
the youth with the elders. It is a must -watch. Kosa uchekwe!
Screen Writer: Musyoka Ngui
Scene 1
(Mzee Mambo is with his buddies drinking
traditional liquor. They are laughing while sharing their experiences. He is
seated on a log while the others Wazees sit on three-legged stools.)
Mzee Mutemi: Baba Kamene I heard that your
zizi will need to be expanded.
Mzee Mambo: Namna gani wewe? Unamaanisha
mambo ya ng’ombe?
Mzee Mutemi: I mean that word is going
round that Kamene is courting a boy from the other side of the hill. Where we
went to borrow salt and fire in the days of our childhood.
Mzee Tom: Mnaona hii area yote? Watu
wamesikia sifa ya kijiji yetu. Wanasema tumeendelea sana. Wanataka kutafuta
kiongozi wa jamii kutoka hapa.
Mzee Mutemi: I know what you want to say….
Mzee Tom: Ni wewe unaongea? Unataka
ninyamaze uongee? Ongea basi.
Mzee Mutemi: Nimeacha. Hata nimesahau.
Pengine kile nafikiria sio unachodhani. Watu ni tofauti.
Mzee Mambo: Ubaya ni kuona watu wazima
wakiwa wanabishana kama watoto. Wazee inatakikana watulie. Waongee kama watu
wazima. Wahenga husema palipo na wazee hapana neno.
Mzee Tom: Basi kama ni kuacha tuache.
Mwenye hajui itabidi anunue roundi moja
ya uki ili niseme.
Mzee Mutemi: Bwana Mambo utanunua? Ni wewe
hujui. Mimi na Tom tunajua.
Mzee Mambo: Ni nini kwanza? Kiongozi
anayetafutwa anafaa awe na sifa gani? (Sniffs tobacco) Atchoo! Hii ni
nini (Points at his white hair)
Hii ingine ni nini ( Touches his bare bald)
Mzee Mutemi: Wacha kuwa mkono birika. Ama
ni mkono thermos? Nyoosha mkono wako ubariki vijana. Unatuambia taarifa ya uzee
wako hapa na kila mtu anajua wewe ndiye mzee zaidi? That is not news bwana.
Mzee Mambo: Nitafanya hivyo tu kama
utaahidi wazee hutatoboa siri na mambo yaishie hapa. Wazee sio wamama. Maneno
ya wazee huishia kwa kikao.
Mzee Tom: (To Mzee Mambo): Toboa
kabisa. Sema yote!
Mzee Mambo:( Calls his wife, Mukami):
Mama Kamene letea hawa safari moja ya uki. Kopo ile kubwa.
Mzee Tom and Mzee Mutemi: Leo ni siku yetu.
Baba yao amesema. Mwanamke harakisha wazee wanachoka na kugonja.
Mukami:(Pouring the liquor on
calabashes) : Karibuni.( After some time they empty their calabashes.
The scene closes before Mzee Mutemi spills the beans)
(Curtain)
Scene 2
(The action takes place in a restaurant.
Both Kamene and Kariuki are seated. The waiter comes over to take orders)
Waiter: His!
Kariuki and Kamene: Poaz!
Waiter : Mnakula nini?
Kamene: Ngoja kwanza tusororore menu
tukimada tutakuita.
Kariuki: When we go for a family day out
dad and mom sit at their place and me and Njeri sit on our table. Ka venye
tumekaa sasa. What we talk they don’t hear and what they talk we don’t hear.
Kamene: And what do you eat?
Kariuki: Dad’s favourite dish is pilau
chapo. Mom cooks that for him on special occasions. Like mom, I like chicken
and ugali.
Kamene: What about your siz?
Kariuki: Njeri? Eish! Huyo hatakangi
mafuta. She is sensitive to what she eats. Az in she is picky. She chooses soft
and fast foods like spaghetti, chips and other take -aways.
Kamene: Acha nitafute kenye nakula basi. We
inaonekana utakula sembe na kuku.
Kariuki: No darling. We must like the same
things. You know love is about similarity.
Kamene:( Annoyed. To waiter): We
Muthokoi iko wapi hapa? Ilete haraka.
Waiter: Hiyo hatuna madam. Samahani!
Utakula githeri?
Kamene: Kwani umeona nikona machine ya
kusanga mahindi kwa tumbo? Tuheshimiane. Ni mimi nakula si wewe.
Kariuki: Dear kuwa mpole. We can still eat
nduma, ngwachi ama mukimo. Mom says they are even more nutritious than
manufactured foods.
Kamene: Leta na kadhalika.
Kariuki: So umejam ivo hutakula? C’mon baby
naongea na wewe?! ( Kamene shrugs her shoulders)
Kamene: Hii ndio ndema ya mwisho naangiza
hapa. Ka haitakuwa tutacancel hii date. Period.( Knocking the table hard) :Waiter,
lete mchele nyama.
Kariuki: ( Murmuring): Unajua we
huku watu hula wild animals? Kuna Park hapa karibu. Usiitishe nyama ya ng’ombe
ama mbuzi. Itisha kuku na uhakikishe wameweka headmaster katikati ya sahani
kama evidence. Naivasha hii yote mpaka Nakuru ni punda, zebra, monkey na
cranes. Chunga sana.(They are served as per their orders)
(Curtain)
Scene 3
(Same characters. Same settings)
Kamene: Excuse me honey, can I use the
ladies washrooms? I’ll be back shortly.
Kariuki: Yes please (She was seated in
the opposite side of the table. Stands up)
Kamene: Are you OK?
Kariuki: (Who is caught ogling and
whistling at her beauty): Ha! Me
niko sawa. I was just checking your provisional results. The cleavage, the
contours and the curves. God must have created you after lunch akiwa ameshiba.
Watu wengine ( points at the waiter) waliumbwa na changarawe. Udongo na
maji ziliishia katikati. Walimaliziwa na mate.
Kamene: No wonder wanakaa wanastand ivo. Na
bado you have seen nothing. If you are losing your mind upon receiving only
tentative results from our opponent’s constituencies utadu nini stronghold
ikirelease matokeo yake? Tharaka Nithi bado! Stronghold nayo! Tulia.
Kariuki: Unadai nini? Ati ? I don’t get
you.
Kamene: Wachwa hapo. Utawachwa kama vile
mamba aliachwa na maji kwa ziwa wakati wa kiangazi. Final tallying bado. Hiyo
tutafanyia Bomas sio KICC this time round. ( Kisses him and goes to the
restroom)
Kariuki: Wow! Seating allowance jo! Dashboard
hata haihitaji wiper. Mbele iko sawa. Flawless beauty. Nikikuangalia
hata the very thought of you going to the loo does not cross my mind. You are
an angel. Next to God. (Removes Kamene’s photo from his breast pocket and
hugs it. Sings.)
Ukilala lala salama,
Kumbatia picha yangu
Matatizo chuki na wahma,
Vumilia mpenzi wangu,
Kumbatia picha yangu* 2
Kamene:(She is back from the loo)
Who is sleeping? I thought we were eating. Gosh! You can make my appetite go
away. Let’s eat first. Mambo ya kulala ni badaye or NEVER.
Kariuki:Ati what?
Kamene: You heard me.
(Curtain)
Scene 4
Mzee Mutemi: (Clears his throat):
Hahaha! That uki has smoothened my body, mind and soul. It is exactly what is
needed for a body that is fading fast from its former youthful state.
Mzee Tom: It reminds me of sour milk.
Swirled in a gourd for days, inviting taste buds to try it. Pure gift from a
loving wife.
Mzee Mambo: You must have a loving wife to
enjoy a sweet pot. The black bird with sweet intestines is the best embodiment
of affection for a husband from a wife.
Mzee Mutemi: They say the shortest route to
a man’s heart is through his stomach. Any serious woman knows this only too
well. Look at Mukami. Now look at Mzee Mambo(Smiles) Yeah, they are
happy because they are taking care of that which sits among three pillars to be
licked by red tongues.
Mzee Tom: Mambo siri mmesahau baada ya
kulewa ama?
Mzee Mambo: Hamwezi kunywa pombe yangu na
mwende hivyo. Mutemi, pasua mbarika.
Mzee Mutemi: Shhh! Mwanamke anasikia
maneneo ya wazee. Mababu zetu watakasirika jamaneni. Tuongee polepole
tafadhali.
Mzee Mambo: Mke wangu Mukami sio kila
mwanamke. Usimtaje tena. Kama huna la kusema nyamaza ama ukawikie kwako. Hii ni
shamba yangu na mimi ndio jogoo hapa.
Mzee Mutemi: Nilikuwa nasema hivi.(Pauses)
Mnasikia? Sikieni vizuri. Eti jamii yetu inataka kiongozi mpya katika mfumo wa
ugatuzi. Wazee wameangalia na wakakosa watu.
Inasemekana umma unataka Mambo. Binti yake, Kamene, anaolewa kumaanisha kuwa
kijana anayemchumbia ataleta ng’ombe na
mbuzi nyingi hapa.(To Mzee Mambo) Anza kujenga zizi ingine mzee. Utakuwa
tajiri wa kutajika. Kama ni hekima unayo. Angalia kipara na nywele nyeupe
inavyomkaa. Kinachokosekana tu ni masomo. Kasheshe kanasema kuwa vijana wa jana
watapingwa na vijana wa leo. Wa leo wanavaa suti, tai na wanaongea Kiingereza.
Wana madigrii lakini Mzee wetu usijali. Tunaomba utawashinda.
Mzee Tom: Inshallah! Tutatolea miungu
sadaka ya paka mweusi na kucha za mbwa na manyoya ya bata mzinga. Tukiongea na
waliotutangulia miujiza itatendeka. Naamini Mzee Mambo atapenya.
Mzee Mambo: Ahsanteni sana kwa imani yenu
mliyo nayo kwangu. Niko tayari kuwahudumia.
(Curtain)
Scene 5
( At Kariuki’s home.The political
temperatures have hit feverpitch)
Faith: Daddy mipango inaendeleaje? Mmefika
wapi?
Kariuki: We met yesterday and today we have
a strategy committee to plan how we shall take over the reins of power of Kwetu
County.
John: You are not doing enough. You know
the other side, Ahem! The analogue era is approaching fast and gaining ground
to triumph over you?
Kariuki: Dad don’t panic. We are in
control.
John: You and who else?
Kariuki:
Kamene and I. My team is digital. Our troops are live online.
Facebook.Twitter, Skype and Youtube. We mobilize our fans through the social
media.
John: The trick about the youth is that
they talk but do not act. Have you addressed the issue of voter registration?
And that prostitute you call Kamene, their tribe has the tyranny of numbers.
What do you have?
Kariuki: Dad you do not get me right. We
are not herding Kwetuans into tribal cocoons. We are selling our ideology not
ethnicity.
John: And mind you the elderly have money
and means. They can manipulate State machinery to their advantage. What do you
have? Nothing.
Faith: Son, I will stand by you. No matter
what you have one sure vote from me.
Njeri: And for my elder bro, my loyalty.
Remember how we grew up. The sweet nostalgia of childhood adventure, fond
memories we want to relive. I pray you become the CEO. Governor Kariuki of
Kwetu County.
John: That harlot called Kamene will spoil
and split your election basket. How can you date our enemies? Remember the Mighty
Samson, he was felled by a woman. Luanda Magere, sold out by a woman. Adam was
also deceived by a woman. What about
you? A mere mortal. You will fall to her trap.
Kariuki: You know what? I have remembered something
(Scratching his head) I have to meet Kamene and my campaign secretariat.
She has agreed to support me even if I run against her father. We meet at her
place. Let’s go now. Njeri, come with me.( Njeri clasps his hand and they
speed off in a Range Rover.)
Faith and John: No no no! Come back here.
What if something happens to you! You cannot trust enemies that way.
( After 30 minutes Njeri and Kariuki arrive
at Kamene’s homestead. The campaign secretariat is holed up in a strategy
meeting. Kamene hears the sound of a car and comes out to receive her guests.)
Kamene: Hi honey! Sorry for the journey.
You must be tired. The meeting is on. Come over. (To Njeri): How are you
dear?
Njeri: Fine.
(Unbeknown to Mzee Mambo, his rival has
just pitched tent in his backyard. Wazees Mambo, Tom and Mutemi who were also
strategizing [on how to rig the elections scheduled for the following day] come
out of a tree shed)
Mzee Mambo: Young man, save your soul. You
either fly or I finish you.
Kariuki: Why Mzee! A rival is not an enemy
but your opponent. If the election is to be fair then the best man should win.
No hard feelings.
Wazees
Mutemi and Tom: You see this sword and the machete? Tomorrow we shall
kill you if you embarrass us in the polls.
Kariuki: What about my Chief Campaigner? My
love and your daughter Miss. Kamene, will you kill her too?
Mzee Mambo: That cannot happen. (To
Kamene): You are either with us or with the enemy. Decide now which side
you belong. No watermelons here.
Kamene: No No No! Papa don’t hurt Kariuki.
We have even planned to surprise each other if we win the County elections.
Mzee Mambo: Surprise? What surprise?
Kamene: We seal our union. We consummate
it. We are so eager and thirsty to defeat you and your aging team. Then we go
faaaaaaaar away for our honeymoon in Zanzibar. We get married.
Mzee Mambo: Mummy I am sorry I cannot grant
your wish. We are in this race up to the finish line. No retreat nor surrender
( Wazees Tom and Mutemi nod)
Kariuki:Listen here.( Both analogue and
digital teams pay attention) This is the last day of our campaign. We call
for peaceful polls. Whoever loses to congratulate the victor and the loser to concede
defeat. Anyone disputing the results should seek legal redress. Promise!
All: Promise! Yeah!
Kamene: I would like us to do a simple
experiment. We should leave this place sure that there will be no tribal
clashes. Me and Kariuki are going to extract blood samples from our middle
fingers. Let’s do this( They do so)
Kamene: What is the colour of this blood?
All: Reeeeed!
Kamene: Very well. Right. When you go to
hospital do you transfuse a Kikuyu , Kamba or Luo blood? When you donate blood
do you instruct the doctor to label the blood your tribal tag so that it does
not clot on the veins of the other community?
All: Nooooooo!
Kamene: Blood is blood. Red. Regardless of
your tribe. Just as blood transfusion saves lives of people regardless of where
it comes from or where it is going so should we work together for the
prosperity of our County.
Kariuki: And that is the covenant we make
today on the election eve. No bloodshed. Polls will come and go but your
neighbor will remain. (Both rival teams are baffled by the wisdom of Kamene
and Kariuki. They agree to sleep and wait for the following day, the polling
day. Their date with destiny. Who shall win?)
(Curtain)
The End