Friday, June 14, 2013

Kick Out Rogue Radio Journalists



Time to Go
Kick Out Rogue Radio Journalists
Some careers were not designed for pretenders. I mean the people who go and squat at the workplace and let someone else do the work as they wait for salary at the end month. They do not encourage masqueraders. You’ve got to do your assignment and its impact be felt or better still be seen. Such is what modern journalism is.
Sadly, the noble call to public interest service is not devoid of half baked, unbaked and undeserving practitioners. The only other career which I know that tolerates this kind of in and out movement is teaching. Where job-seekers cool their tarmacking soles thinking about fresher pastures ahead.
You know journalism and teaching are cursed. The rightful professionals are crowded out when the HR Managers adopt stop-gap measures. And all this is selfishness. Tell me why media houses will hire drop-outs, jokers and pretenders without a clue about the basic journalistic codes of conduct. Having a voice and looks is never enough to be a media practitioner. Parents and children are embarrassed by pornographic breakfast shows when the untrained media personalities take to the studios.
I will tell you two reasons which I think are the major factors for the continued stay of comedian journalists in our airwaves. First, it is because they have influence. They sway the audience. They are wanted by media managers so that they can attract listeners. When the requisite numbers are reached, the media houses sell the audience to advertisers. No wonder that such personalities secure plum endorsement deals with companies. In return, they are paid well by both advertisers and their employers.
But this comes at a cost. A heavy cost indeed. There are obscene portrayals of women, glorifying cheating escapades and utter disregard of what media professionalism stands for. You cannot listen to such morning shows with your mother. Unfortunately, there are mothers making premium calls to these broadcasters. This begs the question, surely who are these ladies really? Are they the same who do not want to imagine what their daughters do while they are away? What about the millions of men who sustain these illicit bedroom romps? Do they have families? The stakes cannot go higher. It is a delicate dilemma. Mobile service providers have no qualms charging stratospheric call rates to their loyal clients. They think they are the Caesar who must receive tax at whatever cost.
Then there are these sweeping interjections, pauses and unsolicited advice. Since the broadcasters target young adults like the single youths, the latter are misadvised by backstreet journalists. “Marriage does not work. He cheats so she does too. Virgins don’t exist. Road test is a must before I put a ring on that finger. His money is ours but my money is mine only. It is God’s command for men to provide.”
The above utterances are convenient for the proponent. They hurt the other party. They encourage discrimination, sexism, gender inequality and infidelity.
True, the society is patriarchal and no man can stop the worldwide awakening of women. But where is the moderation? Why go overboard and wash your dirty linen in public? Don’t you have any other forum to solve your personal issues privately?
Still on the RiverRoad journalists: They profess knowledge of anything and everything controversial. They imagine they know everything and are ready to offer help to desperate listeners. They are not psychologists but will guide and counsel stressed spouses on air. They are not doctors but will prescribe medicine for the listener’s loneliness. Poor ear! Methinks you cannot rule out stage-managed plays colluded by the media and listeners in a bid to manufacture content. Are listeners coached to answer appropriately to questions?  Is it just hot air or there is a genuine problem that will erupt to suicide, homicide or genocide if not arrested? Is it a ticking time bomb that will explode anyway?
Genuine media graduates cannot find jobs because of foul mouths that are reckless, careless and blunt who camp at radio stations. Doctors, psychologist, gynecologists, police officers, teachers, parents and preachers are rendered redundant. They are complaining that they have nothing to do. These rogue actors must swallow a humble pie and realize that they cannot know all. They ought to enlist professional advice to the woes facing their audiences.
How about reprogramming the shows to air during afterhours rather than breakfast? This is the excusable time to talk trash. Idle and able bodied people sit hours on end listening to pornography. They waste productive time doing nothing. Laziness is resting before working. We should work and rest thereafter. There is no better ideal moment than 10 p.m onwards. If the presenters want they can do it until midnight or up to the next day but please spare children this dirt.
A good journalist is the one who observes media law and ethics. S/he does not expose the dignity of his/her audience under the guise of “being the mirror of the society”.
The Media Council of Kenya and the affected media houses have a responsibility to act decently and rein in on rogue journalists.  Freedom has responsibility. Whether you are practicing the freedom of thought, expression or that of media, know that others too have their rights and protect them as you enjoy yours.
As for the rogue presenters, go to (media) school, sit down and learn media practice first before thinking about picking that mic. You can also go to theater and perform all your theatrics there. You have had your time to run the show. It is time for real journalists to take over. Doctors, psychologists, gynecologists, clerics, teachers, and parents you’ve got someone to trust. We will seek your expert advice as we go ahead with our call to entertain, educate and inform the public.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Between Us



BETWEEN US
Synopsis
 This is a passion story about Tina. She has a negative attitude towards education thanks to her steamy infatuation with Marto. Marto was seeing Sally, Tina’s pal. Before Marto met Tina, he had dumped their Class Prefect. This was after they discovered they were incompatible. What follow are adverse effects on the education of the trio studying together. Sit on the edge of your seat and enjoy our spellbinding adventure.
Screen Writer: Musyoka Ngui
Scene 1
(Math class in session. A few minutes to break time. The teacher is solving math problems on the board, his back facing the students. The students steal this moment to try some mischief.)
Tina: (Yawning and looking at her watch. In a whisper): Maze hii class inabore!
Sally: Ah! Kwani haishi. Cheki venya hata mao inalemea mode, hata hajamaliza kudu hiyo swali…..
Tina: Breko inakaribia. Naskia ubao.
Sally: Kwani una minyoo? Kuwa mpole. Kwani we ni mtoi unalia na njaa? Nkt!
Ann: Shh! someone wants to concentrate here. If you aren’t interested in math someone else is.
Teacher: As you can see from the above calculation of Calculus, Differentiation is the opposite of Integration. Step by step, you can oscillate back and forth following the principle of dy/dx. Remember math has one answer only. Purpose to arrive at the solution without looking at your friend’s work. Now open Page 360 and attempt Exercise 2. We shall mark in class next session.
(Soon the break time bell goes. The girls go for coffee and toast. Sally and Tina walk towards Ann as if they have a beef against her)
Sally: Niaje chopi? Si utoe mpango.
Tina :( To Ann) Nimebook book yako ya mao nicopypaste.
Sally: Watu wengine mwili iko daro, tumbo DH na akili inazurura na chali yao.
Ann: Kwanza umenikumbusha. Tina alishtuliwa na mode venye aliulizwa swali totally lost in thought. Eyes wide open and staring blankly at the space. Seeing nothing.
Sally: It is called daydreaming. Building castles in the air. Mwulize venye alikuwa anafikiria.
Ann: Si utuambie basi mrembo?
Tina: What is in my mind is between me, my bf and God. Nyi zi. Ngo! Sitawashow.
Sally: Niaje nawe,si we are your pals….
Ann: Hatutaspread story yako ya mapenzi.
Tina: Ok, listen up. When I think about Marto, masomo inakuwa irrelevant. Hata alinishow  atanioa. Sifai kuworry na kupass exam. His dad is rich and famous. He is a senior County official. With Marto, shida zote nimezipiga mateke. Sa kwa nini nisome? Tebu time ifly we reunite and start our life.
Sally: We si umeangukia mzito! Gotea hiyo story kwanza. (They softly greet each other with clenched fists)
Ann: Wacha sisi wenye hatujapromisiwa kitu tukazane.(Suddenly the bell rings. Students run to class for another grueling session. When the class settles down the class prefect signals the class to listen to important announcements)
(Curtain)
Scene 2
Class Prefect: Mr. Makali amesema kuna venye hatamek hiyo Chem. double. However, he has given me some scripts for us to go to the lab and do the experiment therein. ToD naye akadai mkimye ka mnakula chocolate powder. Mostly akina Sally, Tina na hao wasee wa base ya hapo nyuma.. Mnajijua. For now let’s go for the practicals.
Tina:We monitor unanitafuta na utaniona. Ata ka unanichukia na wivu wako jua kuna mtu ananipenda. Tena sana. Meza wembe.
Sally: Wasee mmeanza ile beef yenu ya tene? By the way hamkutushow. Both of you were fighting for Marto’s attention. Who won?
Tina: Of course me! ( The class prefect avoids the confrontation and leads the other students to the lab but not before she drops the bombshell)
Class Prefect: Unaringa na hiyo kiatu inaitwa Marto na imekuweka mpango wa kando. Mpango wa katikati ni your best friend. Hard to belief but very true. Mambo ingine ulizanga wenyeji. Game tumeiva, usituone ivo. (Sally  seeks out Tina to clear the air about the scathing allegations made by the monitor as they head to the lab)
Sally:(Hugging Tina) Unajua niaje, the enemies of development never sleep. She is jealous of you and will do anything to separate you from your love, Marto.
Tina: Nani amskize? I can’t waste my time listening to a parrot. Mshene!
Sally: Si tusake Ann atuokolee na kumix hizi mareagents jo?
Tina: Poa poa.
Class Prefect: Time is running out and the teacher wants the scripts right after this. Class, no cheating. Do your own work. I shall report those who reap where they did not sow.
Tina: And talking of reaping where one did not sow, who is this you hinted was snatching my bf?
Class Prefect: We fanya teo kwanza. Is he a pen that you can put in your pocket everywhere you go so that he does not cheat on you? Open your eyes. Si ata we unamplay? Tit for tat.
Tina: But I love him and don’t want to lose him. Just tell me who Marto is seeing.
Class Prefect: How many best friends do you have?
Tina: Many.
Class Prefect: How many lady best friends do you have?
Tina: One.
Class Prefect: She is the one licking your honey pot and sealing it well for you not to notice.
Tina: Ghai! Sally! Sally can’t do that to me. Let me ask her.
Class Prefect: Of course hatakubali.
Class Prefect: Class, hand in your papers as you exit. There is a teacher waiting outside to use this room. (Tina hurriedly scribbles the observations and gives the papers. They walk out. Chatting)
(Curtain)
Scene 3
(Staffroom.Mr. Makali is marking the chemistry papers. He notices that except for Ann and a few others most students have lost hope in the subject. He singles out Tina and Sally.)
Mr. Makali: Are these twins or what? They do everything together and now they have similar observations. All wrong answers.
Mr. Mutune: I teach physics and the pair has mastered the art of cheating. They don’t care about sciences.
Mr. Makali: I have to know who is cheating here. One is fooling the other. They can’t think the same. I will call them.
Mr. Mutune (To Ms. Mercy, the Deputy Principal) Mwalimu, these need stern disciplinary action. They are growing horns. Very big horns.
Ms. Mercy: I know. They have horns and tails. They are the ones at the tail –end of the class yet they are indifferent. An epitome of don’t care attitude. Useless!
(Mr. Makali has called Sally and Tina. They are now in staffroom surrounded by the four teachers. Confused and sweating)
Mr. Makali: You know copying is lying to yourself? Telling yourself you know yet you don’t know what you know you don’t really know it. Even if I give you a tick and you smile, you don’t know the content of the exam you pass.
Mr. Mutune: These two have given up. They are on transit. Look at Tina: micro skirt, pierced ears and nose, shaded lips and eyes. This is the stuff of someone who has experimented with what the call love.
Ms. Mercy: Tina tell us whether you are seeing someone. Who’s the lucky dude?
Sally :( Spills the beans): The class monitor started it. Ask her, she is the one who interferes with them. (The teachers are dumbstruck. The Deputy Principal sends Tina to go fetch the class prefect)
Mr. Mutune: Now Sally, are you cheating?                   
Sally: (sobbing) Yes Sir. Twice!
Mr. Mutune: What do you mean?
Sally: We look at what Ann has done because she is bright and buy her snacks after she shows us the class work. I also have a crush on Martin and we have been pushing for some time…behind Tina’s back.
Mr. Mutune: Martin? Martin who?
Sally: Tina’s boyfriend.
Mr. Mutune: Whaaaat! This is drama. Am I watching a movie or a Nigerian soap Oh! Oga oh! Chinekke! ( Tina returns after fetching the class monitor. Messrs Makali and Mutune and Ms.Mercy can’t believe what they are hearing. Tina tells her side of story and confirms what Sally had said when she was away)
Ms. Mercy: ToD, there is more than meets the eye here. The government banned canning in schools yet the students are indisciplined than ever before. What shall we do? Do we suspend or expel them or what?
Mr. Mutune: Counseling. Counseling will do. Let’s guide them and see whether they will change. Young as they are, they are carrying very heavy burdens on their shoulders.
Ms. Mercy: Girls, go to class. We shall call you when we need you.
Sally and Tina: Thanks Madam and Messrs.
The teachers: Anytime daughters!
Sally: Maze timesurvive!?
Tina: Zi, we shall be called again for disciplinary action. It is not over. In fact, it has just started.
Sally: Wah!si mom ataniua akijua?
Tina: Unasema! me wacha nife mapema ju princi amecall buda  na ako on his way.( They run to class)
(Curtain)
The End.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Shooting The Messenger



SHOOTING THE MESSENGER
Screen Writer: Musyoka Ngui
Scene 1
(Plan B Pub. The patrons are imbibing alcohol while the music blares. There is a giant screen beaming music video clips. Ken and Wendy are sitting at a corner where the light is dim and seem in trouble)
Wendy:  We umepangaje?
Ken: About what?
Wendy: C’mon, stop pretending! What do we do about this?
Ken: You mean the ball?
Wendy: Yes, your ball.
Ken: My balls are intact. What about your ball?
Wendy: It is not my ball. It is our ball.
Ken: How can I be so sure about that? The last time I checked we used a CD. If you went lungularing around….. shauri yako.
Wendy: I’ve no one but you. If you keep denying it I will….
Ken: Do what!?
Wendy: Come I tell you (Ken checks in the counter. The bartender gives him a receipt and both walk out leaving the bar busy with activity)
Scene 2
(Wendy’s home. Her parents, Michael and Michelle are sitting around the coffee table chatting.)
Michael: Have you talked to your daughter lately?
Michelle: No. Why?
Michael: Naona katumbo kanaanza kutokelezea…
Michelle: Ah!Wacha, si ni hali ya mtoto kukua. Ni mafuta ya kula tu. Itayeyuka akikomaa.
Michael: Ashakomaa already. That bump must raise eyebrows. (Pointing at Michelle’s tummy with a bakora) Najua tumbo ya kushiba chakula na tumbo ya kushiba kitu kingine.
Michelle: Wendy is saved. She cannot carry a child. I do not think hata anajua hayo mambo.
Michael: Haya, unamtetea. When is the last time you sat down with your daughter and had a daughter-mom talk? Have you ever bothered to know if she has a boyfriend? Wewe kazi yako ni kumnunulia pads tu hata hujawahi mwonyesha vile zinatumiwa.
Michelle: Hiyo ni common sense. Si ni kama kutumia TP tu. Nani alimfunza kutumia tissue roll? Kila kitu mtu afunzwe? Mwandikie mwalimu basi.
Michael: Heri waalimu. Wao wanawambia peupe jinsi ya kujikinga lakini sisi tuna aibu. Tunaumia ndani. Tunaoza ndani. Come to think of it, have we really been there when our children needs us the most?
Michelle: Mmmhh! Ni kweli. Lakini si kanisani pastor anakemea mapepo yote hata ya boyfriend?
Michael: (Laughs. Soon Wendy enters the living room and switches on the TV. Her mom directs her to serve the family food she has prepared.)
Scene 3
(As they eat there runs an advert about use of condoms. All are visibly embarrassed. One ad is stressing the importance of condom as a tool for family planning and another as a weapon against infidelity)
Michelle: Hii sanduku ndio inaharibu watoto.
Michael: Naona hivyo hata mimi.
Wendy: Ati nini? Kwani si TV inasema ukweli?
Michelle:Who told you that? Nyamaza watu wazima wakiongea.
Michael: Achana naye aongee. (To Wendy) Ati ulikuwa unasemaje?
Wendy: I was saying that the media is only showing what is happening in the society. It is the mirror that reflects our actions as a people.
Michelle: Tembu kwanza izime. (Wendy remote controls the TV)
Michael: Acha kusumbua mtoto bure. Hata akizima hapo atazima Koinange?, atazima Mombasa, ataambia mbwa aachane na wasichana wa chuo na watalii wazungu? Mbwa itasikia?
Wendy: Burying one’s head in the sand will not prevent them from being scorched by the sun above.
Michelle: (Fumes, grabs the remote, switches on the TV and storms out.) Basi endeleeni.
Wendy: Daddy I want to see you. And please promise that what I tell you won’t reach mom. (Silence)
(After seeing her Dad, Wendy decides to involve her boyfriend, Ken. She sees him seated on a park bench alone. She angles from behind and upon reaching him, she closes his eyes)
Wendy: Guess ni nani.
Ken: Of course I know.
Wendy: Na si useme basi.
Ken: Mother of my kid.
Wendy: Ugh! I am not a mother and I don’t have a baby.
Ken: What did you mean when you said ulikuwa na ball?
Wendy: Nataka kuitoa hata.
Ken: Then I will change your title. Now! From this moment on I shall call you mother of a dead, innocent soul.
Wendy: But I have not killed anyone.
Ken: Si you are a potential murderer.
Wendy :( Her father’s voice fills her mind. She remembers what he told her recently): Daughter, you are beautiful and I love you. I know me and your mom have failed you. We did not counsel you when you were naïve. Please do forgive us. As for the child, let it be. We’ll help you take care of the baby. I will be the proudest grandfather ever and your mom will be the loveliest cucu for your unborn kid. I don’t care who impregnated you. Whoever it is, we will not curse him but give you a second chance to mend your broken relationship…(The rest is faint and inaudible.)
Ken: Unafikiria nini?
Wendy: Kwani nafikiria na kichwa chako?
Ken: Unanifanya niworry venye umezumbaa.
Wendy: What is your last word about this PG?
Ken: Nimesare. Ni ujanja yangu imenicost. Tangu nikiwa mtoi sijawahi penda kula pinpop na karatasi. Me hulamba yote. Nailick mpaka mate inadondoka…. Sometimes nakwaruzwa mdomo na ulimi.
Wendy :  Unadhani  mimi ni mjukuu wako uanze kuniambia mafumbo? Angalia huyu Swale Mdoe wa Tafakari ya Babu. Nkt! Come straight.
Ken: Nasema CD ilitoboka. Sa venye ilitoboka me niliendelea tu. Si unajua utamu nayo. Time zingine sio kupenda kwetu, we reach a tipping point. A point of no return.
Wendy : (Starts sobbing) Si angalau basi ungeniambia hiyo time at least nimeze e-pill. Unaona sasa?!
Ken: Maji yakimwangika hayazoleki.
Wendy : Inaevaporate.
Ken: Badala ya kulia let’s go and see a doc. Tuone venye mambo itakuwa. (They stroll around the park, taking lungful of air. Both are shaking and sweating at the thought of a VCT.)
Scene 4
(Tiba Clinic. Ken and Wendy are walking to join a long queue of adults outside the hospital. A youth counselor notices them and then calls them aside)
Counselor: This way guys. Mnaweza mkakaa kwa bench mkingoja nimalizane na mteja mgonjwa ako ndani.
Wendy and Ken: Poa poa.
Wendy: We ndo utaanza.
Ken: Zii! We anza. Case yako ni special. Ball plus HIV test, me ni HIV test tu.
Wendy: Si basi uingie umaliziwe haraka uningoje nje?
Ken: Basi ka umekataa tuingie sote.( Both wait at the lounge as the counselor clears the patient already in. They are shaking. Suddenly, the counselor opens the door and the patient gets out. He beckons them to enter.)

The End
Curtain