There are reasons for all things that happen

 BY MUSYOKA NGUI

In today’s world where people are busy with many things, priorities tell what one values and what they don’t, even if they claim to.

 

Sometimes, a funny joke is told to pass a serious point, although this may be taken out of context.

Jokes can be very subjective and cultural sensitivities are required to be observed. Some jokes are too in-house that what’s funny may be hard to decipher for others.

There is a reason for all things that happen in this world. Nothing is for nothing.

Vai sere wiserasya. This Kikamba proverb can be loosely translated to mean every effect has a cause.

But truth is, with the dawn of digital technological advancement, people have become mean and inward-looking.

Often, I bump into old friends and new acquaintances. We have banter, we laugh, and we share stories. But days later, months later or even years, they call.

Others complain that I didn’t call them first. They say, wina namba yakwa na ndwinguniaa simu (You have my number and never call).  But they also forget they also have my number and do not call me.

So the net effect of that is that we all got busy with other things and claiming I am the one who dropped the ball on my side of bargain is very unfair and ill-motivated.

To their credit, we may have different clocks and may be free when others are busy or we are busy when others are free.

But understanding that fact may provoke arguments which have a with-all-due-respect prefix.

In other instances, I am the one to blame.

I rarely take prisoners and will be keen on flagging duplicitous conducts that appear well-meaning but in the broader analysis, they are selfish and narrow-interested.

This world has becomes so ingrained in what’s-in-it-for-me perspectives that people don’t care about others even if they have a history of benefiting from the latter.

Right thing

But still, there are selfless individuals who don’t do things to be noticed or applauded. That they are doing the right thing is enough motivation to take hours fixing it.

Owning up one’s mistake is a great step in having better engagements going forward. Especially when the error is meant to improve the relations of the parties involved.

Unfortunately, some puff up and question even the most good faith intentioned gestures.

At all times, it is great to stand up to bullies and let them know that there are boundaries that they cannot cross.

People who regard their own time better than others’ cannot differentiate between public and private needs. They just want their own interests to override that of the better good of the communities they are in.

Luckily, with the advent of mobile apps, these insights can be quantified and qualified in real-time. Some people reach out when they are in need but won’t help others who helped them when they were desperate.

What they cannot admit is that they are enslaved in deep self-pity and self-aggrandizement  and they need help to see the bigger picture and read the wall that big is not always better and small may be subtle, nuanced but yet pass a point that a big and hollow can’t.

It is worth it. It is worth helping others and welcoming others to help those in need. Likewise, never bite the hand that fed you.

Ask for genuine favours, avoid exploiting others

By MUSYOKA NGUI

Covid-19 pandemic has exacerbated an already bad situation. There are so many job losses and failure to return to normalcy even after a dip in the number of new infections.

Some people store books for the sake of being seen on the shelves. Photo/FILE

However, some mobile phone users have used the idle time to fleece others. Okay, don’t get me wrong. But they have become lazy and thankless.

As a tech-savvy and keen user of the internet, I get complaints from new users happy to be finally on board but their virginity in using the zeros and ones falls into unscrupulous netizens.

So many groups are formed, especially on WhatsApp for various causes and motives.  It is not bad to help although most of the users only remember the friends they are adding to the groups without introduction when they have needs.

You will receive random phone calls from “strangers” who after introduction go ahead and ask for favours.

Yet those long lost friends never bother to contact you when they do not need your help. And as soon as they are assisted, they quickly delete your number until next time.

What happened to honesty? What happened to being satisfied with what you only deserve and nothing more until the giver in their own discretion awards you more gifts?

Someone I won’t name visited a place where they were nostalgic of the better days. Then they called. Yet they never called when they were around where I was. So, because they were haunted by ghosts of the past, they remembered to hit the dial with the proverbial UKO WAPI enquiry.

Prestige

Since I read a lot, I come across readings that can help and I send to those who may bother to care. But it is disgusting for them to ask a question that was answered in those texts which they just stored for prestige.

Yes, some people buy books to store in shelves or to be seen as being avid readers but when you engage them in a discussion about a book you think they read because it visible on their shelves, they come off as not having read the book.

But for the sake of prestige and being seen by others as being knowledgeable, they won’t mind placing the said popular text at somewhere strategic enough for everyone to see that they have curved a niche that is less populated than the one the rest of us are jostling in.

Sometimes, it is important to cut the chase and live within your intellectual realms that are manageable rather than appearing sophisticated.

In the community spirit of Africa, we should be our neighbour’s keepers. A neighbour being not only someone who is located next to you but who is in genuine need not one that is exploitative and mean.