Of 3am stories and why I am after more spaces

Of 3am stories and why I am after more spaces

Photo/Google Images

By MUSYOKA NGUI

As someone who reads, I agree that my writing has nosedived this year because I did more traveling than reading.

I only wrote for reports, situations and on-demand. I wished to do an imaginative essay, publish elsewhere and conquer more spaces. Yeah more spaces.

But then again, with life, things happen.  Some nights were hard. On other nights I was just lazy. On others, it was pure distraction.

I almost shed a tear when week after week newspaper stands sold out without my story. Other times I envied trending topics going without my comment. 

Other than labor pains, it is writing that wretches the mind and torments the soul so deep that yearning for release is best delayed when everything seems like pushing a ball up the hill. 

Not that I like it when my colleagues (who I promised not to make them a subject of my blog) ask me where I’ve been. Or that I don’t post as often as I should. 

From time to time we meet up but most we don’t. We just wave and do online banter about anything on the go. And that becomes that. I am sure I cancelled many meetings this year and was misunderstood. 

I even skipped more events than I attended. It cost me severally. But still I was there for a few friends. Like those I braved hundreds of kilometers not to fail them.  For others, including family, I cut short several weekends. Two days, three days.  Entire weeks were spent elsewhere. Without noticing life went on.

Anyway, what matters is that I was there at 3am, to look at the next day’s (today’s) headlines. To catch up with WhatsApp group chats and to reply mails I never found time for during the day.

Ironically, I credit most of my leaves and holidays to the so called political temperatures. When those guys fought, I got time off. Not to watch their tantrums, but to do a thing for me.  This is the year I divorced TV and got a second wife at YouTube. My first love was the written word: Newspapers and Magazines. And Books (good authors not crap).

As the hands of time tick by I shall rededicate my time to those that made me fall two times and get bruises two times but still never let me go. Hopefully next year we shall publish more (success) stories.

Don’t do it for the sake of it

Don’t do it for the sake of it

Image/Internet Sources

By MUSYOKA NGUI

I recently took part in a business negotiation that gave me some pointers to what a good negotiator in any deal should be.

First, don’t let your opponent know your cards. Let the enemy keep guessing your next move. As he does so, strategize and unleash your weapon hard on your enemy.

Two, stay put. Don’t move an inch. One way in which a battle is won is by shifting boundaries and taking the enemy’s territory. Stay put and advance. Colonize and make no lacuna of who the winner is and who the recipient of loser’s card is.

If I keep my side of the deal and you don’t that makes me appear weak-even if I am not. As a consequence, should that happen, sanctions will follow quickly. Economic sanctions can be very persuasive. If your enemy does not see the sense in reason, let the enemy know the card left is the card that you will deal him. And that card does not involve showing mercy.

A principle of fairness must apply to all that profess the same fellowship. If we are in a union and you claim to be a member and you don’t meet your obligations that we agreed, then you don’t deserve to be in that cabal. You belong to where they backtrack on their word with no consequence. If we say we pay we pay. We didn’t say excuses. No one wants sick stories explaining away your lazy spins. Reserve that to people of your ilk.

And if the thing does not work talk divorce. There is no need of staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of it. If they don’t serve your interest, go where they care. Stop crying and making all of us wonder if you have anything else to do. We have had enough of sorry stories during your less than impressive stint. We also want you out like yesterday. Move.

So next time you negotiate with anyone, never do so from a position of weakness. Rather, do so from a position of strength. It is better to not do a deal at all than to sign a one-sided deal. Pretenders will tell you that they are doing it for others or they are doing it for future generations but the reality is that they saw what it was for themselves before others. Were it not for them they would have not been there in the first place.

Except you, no one else cared

Except you, no one else cared

By MUSYOKA NGUI

Before I had you, I had a fascination for seeing trees and ground move under my feet. So much was the desire that I wondered how I’d balance gas and gear.

But then like all fairy tales there was a dark side to it. I was just a message and you were the channel. The three of us weren’t exactly a trinity but as we jumped the bumpy patch, I lost count of how long time stood and where my hide will be when the pendulum rests.

It was on Christmas and doctors were on strike. I lay on a stretcher with strings and stiches on my left leg. My nurse called it overindulgence in the party the previous night. Which party? The all Seeing Eye had missed a great detail.

Then another night while chasing a contract my conduct was blurred. The sharp bend was so near that I my judgment was rushed. And when it was all over my annual leave became a sick one. Worse, except you, no one else cared. And they keep insisting tuko pamoja yet they eat meat and us swallow saliva. Okay, that’s fair enough.

You made much sense at first. With familiarity that comes with closeness I started neglecting your service and one day, like all days the in-laws come calling I was caught without a guard. I had no gear and I was doing a four and the adrenaline was nothing imaginable. Then we rolled.  My knees got soaked, not because of kneeling but because of the hard surface landing that I had no clue about to happen. Again, that day doctors were on strike. Such coincidence was unfair to put it mildly.

The first wife is normally the true love. My instinct had it that even if time will come for us to part, I’d never move on. Because you represented my spirit, my effort and determination. When I see you I remember ancient civilizations and ask why Africa wants rushed modernization rather than going the whole hog bit by bit like any other respectable empire of old.

Perhaps I will never love another like I did you. They might be improved but you were the original copy. The serious machine that taught me to limp on after falling and the itching headlong of a wound that left a permanent scar that everything is possible for those who believe.

But then again it is your brevity that emboldened my bravery. Somehow you connected me with the contours in my life and made me take another direction. 
*All photos for this story are from  https://www.bajajauto.com/motor-bikes#

Quit bubble thinking and be different

Quit bubble thinking and be different

Lecturer Mr. Raiji and I on my graduation

BY MUSYOKA NGUI

During my recent visit to my alma mater, I made interesting observations which I wish to share. I gathered that the student population was still on upward trajectory and that the prophecy of Jerusha Kanyua was still relevant.

What I found pitifully inside the bubble thinking was the attitude of my former colleagues who are due to step out of college this year. Some imagine that having a degree is anything special in Kenya. They are so many that no one bothers to count, neither keep up with.

Having a degree doesn’t make you stand out. It thrusts you to the pool of ordinary starters without experience and some form of sameness and similarity that has no iota of difference.

I decided to comment on this matter because I am aware that several employers in this country are making fresh graduates look bad and scapegoating them for hard economic time’s excuses.

From banks retrenching workers in droves to fractured media and cartels fronting their cronies and rewarding mediocrity, ours is anything but a technocracy.

Whom you know matter more than what you know. To paraphrase a renowned sage, it is not the know-how but the know-who.

The world of work isn’t the romanticized field lecturers tell you in spacious lecture halls. You will stay without regular income. You will be underemployed. You will earn 10k for a year and by the time you get a pay rise, you are 30. 30k after tax will be for few. Yet you will fantasize on the imaginary grass on the other side and waste time to know and be grateful of the moment that you are enjoying that your former colleagues only wish for.

Others think starting a business is the alternative to misery. Some of the youths I engage come off as in a hurry to prove a point, get to nowhere or settle old scores with the system. They don’t keep their cool neither do they plan. Is your idea sustainable? No one is discouraging anyone but much of the work is in the sharpening the axe rather than cutting the tree.

Thunder steals the lightning show

Thunder steals the lightning show

Credit:Internet Sources

By MUSYOKA NGUI

For most of those just starting out, work is a necessary evil. They have to get to work early and leave late.

For an economy like Kenya’s where there is so much wages disparities one must learn to work smart and not hard. There will be nights when the only sound of the night vibrating the eardrums is that of a keyboard and not crickets.

There are mornings that will not make you toss and turn in bliss oblivious of the hard day ahead. Because the earlier you hit the road the less the work load.

All assignments without a due date will last for perpetuity. Prioritizing work makes sure one submits the most urgent assignments and still remains with enough time to work on the others.

I know colleagues who imagine the grass is greener on the other side therefore envying a slaving donkey who is also exploring the options of the latest landing opportunity. Others bestow imaginary powers in the faith that things will be done somehow when they ask. Like there was machine dedicated to such seamless production.

People forget that after all it is not their life they are putting on the palm. They should learn to manage the lifetime occupation that is their own business. Caveat: only journalists can’t survive on their own business full-time unless they are career masturbators.

Which brings me to taking things in your own hands. There will be times that a bend will appear on the road and if you don’t stick to your lane you will fly off the tangent.

It is good to leave a legacy that whoever who will sit on your chair will not swing it around like it is their hips but safely keep it for the generations to come. Trust is only five letters but very demanding to keep up.

Just random musings of a slow evening wearing cold and reaching for the enter key.

Suffer in silence no longer

Suffer in silence no longer

Credit:Internet Sources

By Kevin Kang’ethe and Musyoka Ngui

According to the latest statistics from the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (2014) it is clear that the war against gender based violence is far from being won. Over half or 53% of women suffer from sexual violence in silence.

The above rise in domestic violence can be attributed to religious believes, low levels of education, age and occupation, says the report.

    Women without religious affiliations were the most likely to speak out against GBV at 75%, the Roman Catholics followed closely at 61% likelihood to report the vice to authorities. Muslims, Protestants and other Christian denominations came closely third at 59%. This shows that the clergy have their work cut out as they should use their positions to fight the gender based violence. In a related case in August last year, Jackline Mwende who was physically assaulted by her husband grabbed the headlines when she shocked the world by revealing that her pastor advised her stick to her marriage despite the abuse.

    Safety and recovery centres would enable women to escape the wrath of their aggressors. Already there are laws and policies against GBV but their implementation remain ineffective.

    Male partners, brothers, fathers and other male relatives should also be involved in the GBV campaign. Empowering the women alone without commensurate empowerment to men will be detrimental in the fight against GBV.

    In the long term, women should be allowed equal chances to access quality education just as men. KDHS survey indicates that better educated women were less likely to experience sexual violence than their uneducated counterparts. It says that 10% of women with secondary level education suffered sexual violence compared to 18 % of women who had only completed primary school.

   Equally, women need to be afforded affirmative action at the work places as it was revealed that the more money women have the less likely they were to encounter sexual violence. 11% of rich women were taken advantage of sexually by people close to them compared to 16 % of poor women.

There is a vague notion of what constitutes rape. Rape isn’t just sexual assault along the dark alleys of the streets. An expanded definition of rape should cover having sex with a partner without their consent. Even married partners should obtain consent from their spouses. Friends who spike drinks of their peers only to drug them and leave them without “knowing what hit them” should also have spotlight shone on them. 

    Parents should be watchful when they delegate childcare responsibilities to guardians, house helps or even close relatives as they more often than not turn to be the sex pests gnawing at the dignity of the child.